Below Average Height (TM): The Epic Wedding

This past weekend, I attended the wedding of 2 complete strangers. That's right, I sort of crashed a wedding. By sort of, I mean I was invited to attend by one of the bride's maids, and by bride's maid, I mean she was the bride's servant/slave/bonded follower. That bride's slave was none other than???... you probably guessed it... Patty. Patty invited me to be her Plus One many weeks ago, and I gladly accepted because hey, free weekend getaway, BBQ, booze, brunch...alliteration! Then of course other things were thrown at me like, Red Sox vs Yankees tickets and North End Italian festivals, BUT, I am an adult, and I had prior commitments. So I made it down to Rhode Island Friday afternoon by way of commuter rail, and I have this common theme of having to take cabs to South Station, because I tend to never leave my apartment on time.

Anyway, Friday was the BBQ consisting of gross cheese burgers, charred weiners, fly swarming fruit, and field day games. There was however, pie and badminton, and those 2 things make all sorrows dissipate. I stuffed my face with weiners and pie, and then schooled Patty in the great game of badminton. Patty was a hot mess at this point. I think she was more stressed by getting lost in the tragedy that is the Rhode Island freeway system, so adding the intensity of my badminton skills didn't help in calming her down.

We checked into the lovely Marriot-Downtown Providence, and then went to dinner in the hotel restaurant. We were then served by the saddest waitress EVER. She greeted our table like she was sedated, and then the Maitre D gave her a little talking to, and then she started to cry. It was very awkward when we had to remind her that we had ordered wine. Anyway, we enjoyed our dinner, and at this point Patty was so exhausted I was basically making conversation with the booth. We retired to our shared king sized bed, and I couldn't sleep so I listened to my new favorite podcast, Savage Love.

Dee dum dee dum Dee dum dee dum. Wedding Day! Saturday found me on my own again as Patty had to meet the other bride slaves at 6:45 AM for nails and hair and other last minute polishings. So I went for a swim, ordered room service, watched The Office on Patty's computer, and then headed out to find the quaint little 18th century home where the ceremony would take place. Here it is:

It's called Linden Place, and I believe it was built in like 1777. Anyway, it was old, and beautiful, and had a nice garden, and I love 18th century New England homes, and according to Patty, the film version of The Great Gatsby was filmed there. SO...yeah

The ceremony was short and sweet, both literally and figuratively as they performed this blending of honey ritual that was really cool, and I was impressed by it until I found out that they just searched wedding traditions, and that popped up. Still though, how original?! And then there was the reception and they served filet mignon and delish champagne and Patty and I danced until we fell on top of each other! Oh, and Norm cut in while Patty and I were slow dancing, and danced with me. It was funny. To quote him, "I've never had the opportunity to dance with a young man." Oh improv. It was fun to just hang out, and have a few drinks with new IA people... well not NEW IA people, I mean IA people that I've never really been around OUTSIDE of the theatre.

I started to think about my own wedding, if I am to ever marry. I just like the idea of a whole day... or in this case weekend... dedicated to me, and my husband to be. When I watched Nael (groom) dance with his elegant French mother, I got a little emotional, knowing that my mom has already chosen the song she wants us to dance to, Fly Me To The Mooon by Frank Sinatra. I want an open bar, because people are more inclined to have fun once they've had a couple drinks, plus I don't want people to think that I'm cheap. And I want a happy medium between formal and casual. I don't want people to be uncomfortable, or feel like they need to act differently because they're at a wedding. I also don't want idiots ruining my wedding... so I just won't invite Mitch. KIDDING MITCH! I think I'll have Mitch get ordained to perform the ceremony, and it will be all be in a rap. Wouldn't he make a great minister at a gay wedding: