The Tale of Two Emotions

So I was walking down Clarendon Street on Sunday morning on my way to work, when a care free man, with a whistle on his lips looked at me and said, "Looking very sharp today young man".  I responded with a flattered, "thank you!"  I only thought that things like that happened to Christina... cuz she's kind of  pretty-ish.  So for someone to just compliment me on my appearance completely shocked me, in a good way.  

Then, 10 seconds later, with an uncontrolled grin on my face, an old woman, her face wrapped with a scarf, extended her hands towards me begging for change.  I went from sublimely flattered to pitifully disheartened in a just a couple of eye lid blinks.  

When I arrived at work, I told my manager the story, and he just didn't seem to care.  I think you had to experience this drastic shift in emotion to understand it.  I was so excited to be endowed with the same spring in my step as the man that complimented me, but then reality was spit right back into my face.  It was as if I wasn't allowed to experience joy for myself for any longer than 10 seconds.  I dress well.  I eat well.  I sleep on a pillow top mattress.  And other people are suffering, and I am never allowed to forget that.

A Happy Bubble

I have slipped inside a happy little bubble*.  January was, by far, the most difficult month of my life, I'll explain that later, when I can comprehend.  February turned one of the biggest frowns of my life, back into a grin... for now.  For starters, I discovered a 2 week photojournalism course in the Tuscany region of Italy!  I have applied, well Patty physically handed in my application while looking like a woman of the night, and I am waiting to find out if I actually get to go.  Maybe I should try this as a list!?

1. 2 week photojournalism course in Tuscany
2. intensified relationships with 2 new friends of 07-08 academic year
3. a new love and appreciation for cupcakes
4. stronger appreciation for the people in my life that genuinely love me
5. greater understanding regarding the healing power of laughter

In regards to the preceding list.  Item #2 deals with the strong connections that have formed between these 2 people:

                                                               

Who they?!  The gentleman with the straw stuck on his tooth, is Alex.  The female, caught in a candid moment of genuine laughter, is Patty.  They're both looking to their right, just noticed that.  

(read the following sentence to the tune of Amy Crackhouse's "Rehab"): 

I tried to take Alex on dates, but he said nooooo nooo no... clever? ok, so, instead of romance blossoming, a friendship that I truly cherish sprouted.  Alex is innocent, charming, uninhibited, and hilarious without intention.  Also a very good singer, which I found out a few hours ago.  I only hope that our relationship will continue to grow, like the bean we all grew when we were 8... right?  I always end up in a better mood when I'm with him, and those are the friends I appreciate, so yeah.  I actually went to a new cupcake joint with Alex tonight, and the most exciting thing of the bakery was that they sold milk in old timey glass bottles.  I bought one, with no intention of bringing the bottle back to receive my $.90 deposit.  I will recycle the bottle by using it as a vase for my favorite flower, daisies.  Did I mention I was gay?  Ok great

Patty, is great.  I should call her.  Patty is a brilliant comedienne, writer, and overall human, and despite her sometimes intimidating wit, is very shy around people she doesn't know.  shocking.  Seriously, people love her.  Especially this guy (I'm pointing both of my thumbs at myself)  There is a very positive chance that we will be sharing an apartment next year, and I cannot tell you the excitement I feel when I think of that.  Like the excitement is borderline obscene, sort of like our relationship.  Patty and I like to improvise everywhere.  Restaurants, walking down the street, in public bathrooms, in bars, and hopefully, in a couple weeks, in Times Square.  She gave me one of the kindest compliments, "I just feel like I can tell you anything, and you won't judge me".  This melted me a little.  She also told me she would still dry hump me if I ever got fat.  Patty and I can say pretty much anything to each other without fear of judgment.  More with Patty later.

*So in further regards to this bubble.  While I'm very happy right now, the bubble is sure to burst at some point.  When that happens, I'll deal with it then.

(May I also point out that this blog is in no way an attempt at being pretentious.  I hope to polish and hone my writing skills.  Maybe delve into some more insightful concepts from inside my mind grapes.  But for now, enjoy this fluff of me recapping my days!)

What else happened to me today?... 

... I watched a full episode of American Idol for the first time since season 1

so-yeah...  

 

So IT Begins

I used to keep a journal, but upon making an attempt at reading my old thoughts, I had difficulty figuring out my hand writing.  So, I'll type a journal, and publish it online for anyone to read.  

My name's Nick.  That's me on the left.                     

... I'm older now 

The title of my blog describes me... ish.  I am, below the average male height.  No, I am not a "little person", which in my opinion is a more degrading term than "midget", I am just a little vertically challenged.  I'm 5'3".  What I lack in feet, I make up for in inches... HAH!... am I right?!... anyway.

I believe that the first thing people notice about me is my small stature.  The next trait noticed, hopefully, is my sense of humor.  I believe that my sense of humor was God's way of saying, "Hey, listen, sorry you won't ever meet eyes with someone from across a crowded room, maybe you can charm people by making a clever poop joke." Thanks big guy.

So I improvise!  I've brought my humor to a stage in the last 2 years as a member of Seriously Bent, an improvisational theatre troupe.  Yes, I have been recognized on the train.  Do you know what an uncontrollable grin feels like?  Well, that's what happens when you're recognized, uncontrollable satisfaction.  Anyway, I have never felt more comfortable and connected to a group of people than when I became a member of SB.  We have an unspoken bond, and although I've only known these people for a year or 2, it's as if I've known them my entire life.  In FACT, I told them I liked boys and not girls before my friends from home... friends that I learned how to read with.  I love my friends from home, but it's just easier to start a new chapter in life with new people.  I digress... SB, under the direction of Improv Asylum, creates theatre immediately.  What?  We create scenes based on a single suggestion from an audience, and innately they garner laughter... is garner the right word?  It's my blog, so yes.  We have performed in comedy festivals (local and national), competitions (victorious and not so much), and in bars with Chinese lanterns.  

We're great, come see us sometime 

I use humor for more than entertainment, however.  Humor has become my medium for genuine connections with people.  I find that what makes people laugh, not fake laugh, to be incredibly insightful.  Do I have to really work to be clever and witty just to get a grin?  or can I just say an ordinary sentence with a goofy expression and an odd voice to get a 5 minute barrel of laughter?  both can be brilliant and rewarding.  Even in the darkest and disparaging of times, I can pull a smile through a sob.  Am I bragging?  You bet.  I'm very proud and honored to have this ability, because I consciously use it to help people feel better, to forget about the sometimes harsh realities. 

so-yeah...