Hello there, sorry for the long silence, but I, have been, busy? Sure.
A message to the Class of 2009: (from an intern at NY Neofuturists)
Wear sunscreen (I never promised this message wouldn’t be trite and corny). Wear condoms, safety goggles, seat belts and a fucking helmet. You only get one body, that by this point you or someone else has spent a considerable amount of money on making smart. Protect the investment. Oh, and HPV is everywhere. Sex be so good it gives ya cancer, so wrap it up.
It’s ok to be scared. Be as scared as you want. I know I am, but don’t expect it to ever go away. It doesn’t get better it only gets different. You know you’re living it right if you wake up screaming, in a cold sweat, and in clothes you didn’t go to bed in at least once a week.
You deserve to be happy. Do whatever it takes to make that happen. Sleep around, get a dog, do drugs, drink too much, eat too much, make long distance phone calls, see theater, listen to music, watch porn, make porn, dye your hair green, marry a fat dude, write plays, wear only leotards, fondle statues, whatever. Happiness is different for everyone so don’t be all judgy, unless judging people makes you happy then of course go for it.
Sometimes in life, for things to really matter you need to do them all by yourself. (a principal that also applies to masturbation and flossing as well as moving boldly on with the rest of your life)
Ask for help when you need it. (a principal that also applies to masturbation and flossing as well as moving boldly on with the rest of your life)
It takes two people to be in love. One is not enough. If they don’t love you back steal their identity and buy yourself things on their credit card. If you can’t have them you can at least have 12 Sham Wows and 4 Snuggies to comfort you and mop up all the tears and other loneliness related bodily fluids.
Don’t worry too much about finding a “real” job because you’re not gonna find one. This world hasn’t yet made room for us. So bus tables, baby-sit, sell the Internet over the phone, intern, and write blogs in your cubicle while you should be working. Do it with integrity and you’ll get there one day. If not, sell your blood and buy a flat screen that you can sit in front of and smoke bongs. Because material things, television and drugs will fill up the emptiness inside if you try real hard.
Have fun, get dirty, stay up late, try new things, call your mom, look at the stars, do things that scare you, meet new people, and appreciate what you have.
Stick it to the man, remember to not forget, work hard, play hard, be a good friend and be yourself.
Break the mold, break your nails, break the bank, break patio furniture, and break hearts.
Give it all you got, give thoughtful gifts, give that homeless guy a dollar, and give me a fucking break.
Now go out there and do your best. Everything is going to be just fine (a lie but I wish it for you) “Be bold and the mighty forces will come to your aide"-Goethe.
Carpe Diem Kiddos,
Meg Bash
