Model Rockets and Training Wheels

That's my grandfather when he was 25 years old...handsome fella, right? Well the other night, I had a dream of all the things my grandfather used to do with me when I was younger. He would take me fishing at Rocky Pond, where I would get SO excited if he would spring for shiners as bait instead of worms, because worms would never catch diddly. He taught me, eventually, how to ride a bike, after several weeks of riding it down the small hill in my yard. Progress included falling, but after having been upright for several more feet each attempt. Finally, something that he did, only with me, was build model rockets. This was the most vivid part of my dream, probably because it was something that I didn't have to share with my brother. Rockets were just for Papa and Nick. Aaaaaawwww.
Yes, that's me... the baby... older guy sleeping is my grandfather. Ok.

I grew up living next to my grandparents, and after my parents divorced, my brother and I spent our days with them while mom put her business pants on and brought home the bacon. So my brother and I, I feel, have the closest bond with them, maybe closer than any of the other grand kids, but that might just be me wanting that. Anyway, the larger part of my childhood was spent with my grandparents, and my grandfather always had a sometimes cruel way with words. He liked to tease, and get under people's skin. Made me cry a couple times, but it was nothing terrible. He was, however, rather cruel to the adults in my family which I later found out as I got older, particularly to my father.

Well, now that he's almost 80, he has become far more cruel and crotchety, but only in person. When I call from here in Boston, or from another country, he's particularly sweet and flattering and complimentary. He tells me how proud he is of me, and even says I love you, at the end of the conversation. This phrase I have never heard him say while I'm standing in front of him.

In person, he has more and more cruel things to say. Far more than I have ever heard him. His newest thing is people's weight. He's ragged on my mom, who is far from over weight, for some time now, but lately it's become over bearing. The last time I was home, he asked ME if I put on weight. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't mean to brag, but I am a size 29. He just seems to think that no matter who it is, weight is always a sensitive subject, so he goes for it. He made this comment at my brother's graduation party, and I was convinced that he did it because no one was really paying attention to him. Regardless, I understand that he's getting older, but I guess these dreams, and thoughts are my desire to have that young and innocent connection with my grandfather again. I think that when I'm with him in person now, he sees me as an adult, and maybe doesn't quite know how to talk to me, and maybe that's him ALSO wishing we could go back to catching small mouth bass, taking training wheels off, and counting down, to launch 1 foot tall rockets.