Fashionably Late

Alright so after the last entry where I scolded all of you, I am hereby inviting you to this week's Fashionably Late event at The Liberty Hotel, located across the street from the Charles/MGH T stop. Doors will open at 8PM, the fashion show begins at 10PM, and guess what!... the fashionable wears are from SHAKE THE TREE!!!

That's right folks, we've hit the glamor circuit with models and DJs and the whole thing. I will be attending along with our lovely owner Marian, rock star Shakers Rewan and Julie, AND the clothing will be accessorized by local jeweler, Marissa Bethany.

If you would like to attend, and why wouldn't you, please RSVP to the following address: fashion@libertyhotel.com

This is their website: http://www.libertyhotel.com/

How cool is this place?


I do hope you can attend, all it will cost you is a cocktail and or appetizer and or dinner... if you so choose! You can always just come for the sexy party of models and fashion and ME!

An Open Letter To All Residents of Boston/Cambridge (and suburbs)

Dear Jerks,

You are NOT better than anyone!...

After spending my birthday in the New York City, I have come to this conclusion... Bostonians are cold and pretentious (a term formerly attached to my fiance Evan). The unfortunate thing is, NYC receives the connotation of being cold and pretentious, but really, it's not, Boston is! Now of course, I am making this judgment based on the wildly different experience I have in NYC gay bars versus Boston gay bars, however, just walking down the street in the West Village you can see a whole other climate of polite and pleasant. People make eye contact with you walk in NYC, it's occasional, but it happens!... and a smile is often attached!... Ok so maybe there were a few people that looked a little cold...

But still, NEVER HAPPENS IN BOSTON. Why do we think we're so F'ing great??? Are we afraid of rejection because the sun neglects to warm our bodies and faces for so many months of the year, so we never look at each other? No, that cannot be it, because I refer to you the greatest city in America, Chicago. Chicago becomes colder than NYC and Boston combined in the winter, and their citizens are some of the loveliest people I have ever encountered... EVEN MID JANUARY.

I have been to many cities both around the world, and I have to say, Boston is the only city where I feel the asshole-vibe. I am not saying I do not enjoy this city and it's even "hipper" sister-city, Cambridge, but I honestly cannot stand the way we carry ourselves, with propriety and a sense of entitlement. I can also say this about our people because I have spent 100% of my time here working customer service or retail, so I am constantly facing the public, and let me tell you, the bad outweigh the good.

So remember this, the next time you feel the need to not hold a door open for someone, there is someone better than you other there! There is someone that dresses better, has read more books, seen more movies, eaten in more restaurants, written more poetry, created more art, taken more pictures, made more people laugh, read more newspapers, watched more sports, PLAYED more sports, ETC.

Next time you're walking down the street, make eye contact and even throw them a smile, you'll probs make their day.

Sincerely,
Me

Eureka!

EUREKA!... no we should call Eureka, she always has great ideas.

So with Seriously Bent a thing of the past, I've been racking my mind grapes trying to figure out what I want to do to continue in the world of chuckles. Patty's last blog entry was sort of inspiring and made me realize that I need to stop sitting around, and I need to get out there and do more shows, but HOW?!

Well, I did stand up once... and I really enjoyed it... particularly since it kind of went surprisingly well. So I hope to do that thing. THEN I am currently in pre-production on a retro-scripted web series with Dick Wilson and Goose-staff Cadet. Goose is our producer and director, and Nick and I will be the big stars, the head honchos, the chiefs of... of our manhoods. Anyway, that's cooking in the pot with some potatoes, safron, and a little cumin... Ok A LOT of cumin.

In the long run I hope to audition again for the NXT cast of Improv Asylum because I miss having regular shows and it's always been a dream/goal of mine since I first saw those monkeys on stage 4 years ago. Good times! Plus, as I left Evan's going away party, he told me to audition again and that I was really good, and even though he already had a couple fruit punch drinks in him, I took that to heart because I look up to him as we're in the same generation of fresh faced Boston make em uppers... that and he's as tall as a giraffe...

! ! !GIRAFFE! ! !

So those are my goals/plans/current goings on. I know I do a lot of talkin' and not a lot of DOIN', but hopefully if I continue to write things down, I'll eventually quit doddling and diddling and I'll just get to action.

Stay tuned!

FLOSS: The Musical

No, I am not writing a show stopping... show, about oral hygiene.

My hero, Pete Townshend of The Who, is currently writing a new musical in the style of Tommy and Quadrophenia, entitled (for now) Floss. Floss is the female lead interest in the story. For those of you not up on the discography of the greatest rock band of all time, Tommy is the story of the deaf, dumb and blind boy... Tommy Walker, or the Pinball Wizard. Quadrophenia is probably lesser known to non-Who fans, but is, in my opinion, Pete's magnum opus. Every lyric in that album drips with philosophy and enlightenment and pure human reality. Quad focuses on a young male, Jimmy Cooper, caught in the battles between mods and rockers in London and his personalities are heard through each member of the band, and there are four, so quad... quad also refers to the concept of surround sound. This album got me through many a dark time.

Anyway, his latest work would best be described in his own words, so I will let you read his latest blog entry regarding his new venture:

"FLOSS is an ambitious new project for me, in the style of TOMMY and QUADROPHENIA. In this case the songs are interspersed with surround-sound 'soundscapes' featuring complex sound-effects and musical montages. FLOSS will be a son-et-lumiére musical piece, intended for outdoor performance, or arenas. Several of the more conventional songs from FLOSS will be featured on a forthcoming Who recording for release in 2010. FLOSS will be heard in concert for the first time in 2011, at a venue and date yet to be established. I am already having talks with producers in New York.

The collected music and sound for FLOSS convey the story of a married couple whose relationship gets into difficulty. Walter, a straight-cut pub rock musician, is able to retire when one of his songs becomes the TV anthem of a big car company. He becomes a house-husband while his wife Floss devotes herself to a riding stables and stud. When he tries to return to music after a fifteen year hiatus, he finds that what he hears and what he composes evoke the ecologically rooted, apocalyptic mindset of his generation. Shaken by this and torn by personal difficulties, he and Floss become estranged. A series of dramatic events in a hospital emergency ward bring them both to their senses.

While Roger Daltrey exercises his ageing vocal chords by embarking on a two month USE OR LOSE IT solo tour, my focus is on FLOSS, which touches on the current issues faced by the Boomer generation. It also addresses their uneasy relationship with their parents, children and grandchildren. As a 19 year old – with My Generation – I wrote the most explicitly ageist song in rock. At 64, I now want to take on ageing and mortality, using the powerfully angry context of rock 'n' roll." - Pete Townshend
courtesy of www.thewho.com

So that's pretty damn great. Pete worked with directors and producers on a staged adaptation of Quadrophenia, and that is currently showing in the UK. My fingers are doubly crossed that it makes a journey over to our neck of the woods. They (The Who) always had a difficult time performing this album live as a 4 piece band because unlike Tommy, Quadrophenia doesn't have a very obvious forward narrative. It really requires extra writing to string together a story line.

I'm very excited to hear this news of a new album and project. I have to agree with another hero of mine, also named Pete, that Pete Townshend is the living embodiment of "The Poet" as defined by Emerson... and I too, will fight you on this one.

Melting Pot Heatwave!

Damn it's hot! The miserable heat of summer has finally hit the Bay State this week as temperatures hold in the mid 90s. It seems like the seasons this year were incredibly jarring. We went from winter, to weird cold rainy sloppy Spring, to just rainy and sloppy summer with not much sun, and now we just have oppressive thick heat and humidity. That sentence is probably far longer than it is supposed to be, but who cares? NO ONE READS THIS BLOG ANYMORE ANYWAY!!! How are YOU dealing with this week's heat? Below Average Height wants to know! Post your answers as replies if you wish... or just tell me what you're wearing today.

This entry is going to be a MELTING pot of subjects since a fair amount occurred since I last wrote. Starting with:


We did it!!! Great big thank yous go out to everyone that attended Kelly and I's show and to Patty and the "boys" of Awkward Compliment for having us on. We (I) really enjoyed performing together and we (I) hope we (I) can do it again sometime soon. Props to Jeremy and Evan for also having a really great show. Evan, why do you hate me SO much?

We went on first before a packed house (32 people) and it was so nice to see familiar faces and some non-familiar ones and some familiar ones that at the end of the show I didn't recognize... sorry Kim and Randy. You're both great.

Kelly and I showed up to the theater a bit early to rehearse and ended up in the storage room lifting bags of popcorn. When asked what we were doing in there, I smoothly answered, "we're just warming up". Kelly looked like a deer caught in head lights as thoughts of free candy and soda danced through her over processed head/hair. Our relationships and characters were often conflicting, but it kind of worked. Suck it rules of improv! "Just rape what's in front of you" - Susan Messing.

Ok so next: I moved!!! And I heart my new apartment so hard. Here are some photos courtesy of my new roommate, Christina.



It's really pretty great. My step mother gave me the record player her and her first husband purchased together, so I'm going to play the Who records she gave me on it! I'm so excited for that.

Ok just 2 more quick updates, and I'll wrap up. I realize that no one enjoys reading long blog entries.

So this idiot had a birthday:


To celebrate we strolled along Cambridge Street and checking the Jameson at each bar. Plus one Mai Thai. While drinking the Mai Thai, the bartender, a 60ish year old Chinese man received a foot rub from another 60ish year old drunk biker-esque looking man named Billy O'Malley... ugh only with Nick. We ended the night snuggling up on his futon, possibly for the last time, as he's moving out to Forest Hills in JP with 3 middle aged men.

OK! We're almost done, my last bit of news involves me having a job interview... TODAY at Brodney's Antiques Shop on Newbury Street.

Oh! Oh! and do yourself a favor and pick up this book:

I'm literally obsessed with all things Amy Sedaris lately, and this book is just JAM packed with humor and insight and recipes and crafts, and ugh... I just love her.

Ok, tata for now!

Below Average Height: LIVE!

Well everyone, my blog has been picked up for season 2.314 including a live performance! ! ! "A live performance?! How on EARTH can you do a LIVE version of this blog?!?!?!"... you probably just asked. Well, you will just have to come to the Somerville Theater THIS Thursday night, August 6th, at 8PM, to find out.

I will be performing a 2 person improvised set in Awkward Compliment's weekly comedy showcase with my very dear friend, Kelly Dooley. Kelly and I performed together with Seriously Bent for three years, and now that they have filed a restraining order against me, I have to find other venues to do shows. Since Patty's group does not know me well enough to realize that I have issues, they agreed to let me perform with them!

This is their logo!

Yikes, I almost put 'there' instead of 'their'... boy I would not have heard the end of that from my editor...

Anygay, Patty and the "boys" of Awkward Compliment perform in the Somerville Theater just about every Thursday night this summer, and perhaps beyond, featuring different improv groups and stand-up comedians. Shows are always at 8PM and only cost $10! What a great bargain in these turbulent economic times... I think something's going on with oil or insurgency... I don't know I can't keep up with everything... I get nose bleeds.

Bottom line, please come see our show, we're both very excited to entertain each other and maybe even you.

Plus we're adorable...

I mean don't we just melt your heart...

A Message To The Class of 2009

Hello there, sorry for the long silence, but I, have been, busy? Sure.

A message to the Class of 2009: (from an intern at NY Neofuturists)

Wear sunscreen (I never promised this message wouldn’t be trite and corny). Wear condoms, safety goggles, seat belts and a fucking helmet. You only get one body, that by this point you or someone else has spent a considerable amount of money on making smart. Protect the investment. Oh, and HPV is everywhere. Sex be so good it gives ya cancer, so wrap it up.

It’s ok to be scared. Be as scared as you want. I know I am, but don’t expect it to ever go away. It doesn’t get better it only gets different. You know you’re living it right if you wake up screaming, in a cold sweat, and in clothes you didn’t go to bed in at least once a week.

You deserve to be happy. Do whatever it takes to make that happen. Sleep around, get a dog, do drugs, drink too much, eat too much, make long distance phone calls, see theater, listen to music, watch porn, make porn, dye your hair green, marry a fat dude, write plays, wear only leotards, fondle statues, whatever. Happiness is different for everyone so don’t be all judgy, unless judging people makes you happy then of course go for it.

Sometimes in life, for things to really matter you need to do them all by yourself. (a principal that also applies to masturbation and flossing as well as moving boldly on with the rest of your life)

Ask for help when you need it. (a principal that also applies to masturbation and flossing as well as moving boldly on with the rest of your life)

It takes two people to be in love. One is not enough. If they don’t love you back steal their identity and buy yourself things on their credit card. If you can’t have them you can at least have 12 Sham Wows and 4 Snuggies to comfort you and mop up all the tears and other loneliness related bodily fluids.

Don’t worry too much about finding a “real” job because you’re not gonna find one. This world hasn’t yet made room for us. So bus tables, baby-sit, sell the Internet over the phone, intern, and write blogs in your cubicle while you should be working. Do it with integrity and you’ll get there one day. If not, sell your blood and buy a flat screen that you can sit in front of and smoke bongs. Because material things, television and drugs will fill up the emptiness inside if you try real hard.

Have fun, get dirty, stay up late, try new things, call your mom, look at the stars, do things that scare you, meet new people, and appreciate what you have.

Stick it to the man, remember to not forget, work hard, play hard, be a good friend and be yourself.

Break the mold, break your nails, break the bank, break patio furniture, and break hearts.

Give it all you got, give thoughtful gifts, give that homeless guy a dollar, and give me a fucking break.

Now go out there and do your best. Everything is going to be just fine (a lie but I wish it for you) “Be bold and the mighty forces will come to your aide"-Goethe.

Oh and SEE TOO MUCH LIGHT MAKES THE BABY GO BLIND as much as humanly possible.

Carpe Diem Kiddos,
Meg Bash