Reflections

I've been asked to reflect on a lot lately.  Not in a sedate lay-on-a-couch sort of way, but in a 5:30 AM bootcamp "who the HELL do you think you are?!" sort of way.  I've been asked about my merit, my ambition, my history, and my self-worth.  I've been asked to evaluate myself through online surveys, ranking statements according to how they best described me.

Blabbering and stammering has been the bulk of my replies...  I do not interview well.  To me, the interview process is grueling and artificial and anxiety inducing... I guess that's most people... who on God's green Earth LOVES job interviews?!  

During one particular interview I was asked what art means to me, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about that.

My real-time response went something like this... "art is humanity :: fart noise fart noise fart noise drawn out fart noise :: this is hard."  Given time to think about that question, I feel like I've developed a better answer... although, I've been farting a lot while thinking about it... maybe I've been eating too much cheese... anyway...

Art to me is reflection.  Art reflects the human condition, and that condition is that life ends.  My life and your life will end, and that is the condition to being alive.  I get the privilege of experiencing love, laughter, music, cheese, Tina Fey, etc. ... with the condition that everyone I experience will someday cease to exist (I really hope there's infinite cheese).  Depressed yet?!... lolol, I SOWWY! 

So what is art then?  Art is a form of permanent reflection.  One creates art in order leave something behind after one perishes and turns to dirt, or ashes... or science museum exhibit if you're into plastination.  

A photograph freezes a moment in time.  

One creates art so that others can reflect on who they were, on who they are, and on who they are going to become.  One does not create art for their own possession.  If you so boldly refer to yourself as an artist, and you create something, and you put it before any size of an audience, your ownership is immediately removed.  Your art is now in the possession of your audience and what "you meant" while creating it... doesn't really matter anymore.  All that matters is what a stranger feels or thinks when he sees or hears or touches or smells or tastes what you've created.  What was yours is now theirs, and they are all that should matter to you.  

This is not to discredit what you meant.  What you meant and what you felt was critical for the inception and creation of whatever art you've produced.  Who you were and what you were doing at the time you created whatever it is we're talking about is something to take into account with the exception of comedy... (no one seems to care what comedians were "feeling" except other comedians).  

One is drawn to a particular artist because one is able to reflect on one's own life through the vehicle that is the artist's work.

Then there's the critic, and I don't mean the guy getting paid by the New York Times.  I mean the guy who surrounds himself with creative people and then ridicules or criticizes them because he's so insecure, has never produced ANYTHING, and doesn't have the balls to plant his own two feet on a stage for five minutes to talk about what he thinks is "honest" or "real" or "meaningful"...  

What the hell am I blabbering about now?!... AHEM... 

An artist's responsibility is to hold a mirror up to the world, and to say... "see?"

That is all that matters.  The mirror effect.  

The reflection.  

HURUMPH!... ok I'm Over It

Shut up. Everybody shut up.

I'm back in all my cranky glory y'all! I know you missed my brilliant social commentary, so what better way for me to make a grand blog post return than by whining about how I'm not getting my way!

I've decided this week that behavior such as a good ol' fashioned huffy pissy hissy fit is completely wasted on small children. Those little b-holes (I've been reading Bossypants by Tina Fey and so should you, idiot) get all the fun, and they're SO easily forgiven!!!... why?... cuz they're kids, and they don't know any better??? F THAT AND F THEM AND THEIR SOFT HEADS! If I feel like being a sour pus(s) for 8 hours, or a day, or a week, or a month... then so be it!

Ok, so I understand that no one likes a Grumpy Gus, neither do I, but I feel like I make a decent effort to internalize these feelings... wait, I think I learned from crashing AA meetings to meet desperate rock bottom men that you shouldn't BOTTLE up these feelings... whatever. When I say I internalize these gloomy moods of mine (I kept typing modds instead of moods there... I'm listening to Quadrophenia, surprise surprise... you don't care)I mean I don't lash out at people, I don't utilize the "misery loves company" cliche... I just order a pizza, eat a pint of ice cream, wash it all down with a bottle of red wine... and then aside from heart burn I'm usually fine the next day! In other words, I only do harm to myself physically, I cause no harm to anyone emotionally because that just ain't who I be!... SHIT

Shut up I'm getting a call...shut up...

... ok just my mom calling to ask if I had a "real job" yet... is it too early to start eating ice cream and drinking red wine?

I did take Kim's advice to channel this frustrating Limbo (not the party game) phase I am currently in, and I'm writing about it! I also read my friend Patty's blog www.barrettall.com/ and her advice to writers across the land, and I thought, what the hell, it's cold and rainy and wet all over and so am I!

AREN'T YOU GLAD I'M BACK WRITING?!?

HAVE A NICE DAY!

(C U Next Tuesday)

Coma Over

So I'm awake... um, it has been quite some time since my last entry, but to be honest, I didn't think I should waste your time with frivolous and trivial bits of information about my life. Frankly, my life has been a bit boring the last few months, and I didn't think you really wanted to know about my Media Law class, what I think about LOST, or any lame inside jokes I might have with colleagues or friends (I hate LOST)... (and yes, I have colleagues)

However...

I'M BACK WITH NEW FUN THINGS STIMULATING MY MIND GRAPES!

First off, I'm dusting off my comedy cob webs, and I am proud to announce a new show at the Somerville Theater as part of the Awkward Compliment Comedy Showcase.

This is what they look like...

They're black and white with only bits of color saturation...

Here's the kicker... those who read this, most likely know that my background is in the improv, Thursday night, however, I will be performing STAND UP! gasp gasp gasp... alright calm down.

I performed stand up once before as part of my old improv group Seriously Bent's "Eat My Improv" festival, and I was proud of it, and it was "successful", but it was in front of my peers and family and friends. This week, I don't really know what to expect... granted I invited a lot of people I know, so I plan to have some familiar faces in the audience, but AC has been doing this show for the better part of a year now, and they get random walk-ins! That means, people with no prior knowledge as to who I am, or what I have done... might come to see this show.

AAAAaaaaaAAAaAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhHHHHHHHh (gulp)

Those eggs are scared...

So I will admit, I'm a bit nervous. I have written all new material, and the topics have nothing to do with me personally or my family, as my previous routine did. My hope is that I can continue to do this show, with new material each time, or edited and stronger material, and eventually... maybe I'll rent a theater and produce my own show... WHO KNOWS?!?!?!?

So there's that, NEXT... I'm taking a lot more pictures and trying to get a job as a photographer!

... ok that's boring...

Please, if you are a fan of laughing, or of me, or of Awkward Compliment, who are a group of great and ambitious comedians that sometimes just perform for each other because they love it so damn much... then COME SEE THIS SHOW:

DATE: Thursday, March 25
TIME: 8PM
PLACE: Somerville Theater, Davis Square (Red Line)
COST: a blow job... kidding: $5 students and $10 normals

I hope to see you there, please be gentle with me, because... I don't plan to be gentle with you.

cheers

Glad I'm With GLAAD

Monday night I attended a staged reading of The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, and it was pretty astounding. The reading, at Emerson's Majestic Theatre, was performed simultaneously with over 150 participating theatres around the GLOBE, and it began with a simulcast, via the interwebs, from the main theatre in NYC. The performs also coincided with the 11 year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death on October 12. Members of the Tectonic Theatre Project, the group responsible for the original Laramie Project, returned to Laramie and conducted interviews with the town folk new and old. Some wouldn't comment, others tried to explain that Laramie is NOT a homophobic town, but because of the murder, that is what the town is known for, and some maintain that the murder was driven by drugs, or a robbery gone too far. In other words, they defend the theory that Matthew Shepard's murder was NOT a hate crime... idiots. Although, thanks to morons at 20/20, that theory has been given national attention... I'm never watchin 20/20 again.

What had the greatest impact on me was the interviews with the 2 men that committed this heinous crime, Russel Henderson and Aaron McKinney. Russel, in his interview, claimed to have remorse and guilt for what he had done, however, Aaron's interview was most haunting. Aaron's only guilt and remorse revolved around the disappointment he feels he inflicted on his father. He maintained to hate gays, and that he believed Matthew to be a sex predator, so to quote, "he had it coming". Really f'ing terrifying.

Following the reading, there was a short, live Q&A session with the Majestic audience and the president of GLAAD, a rep from ADL, and a woman from... somewhere that I can't remember, and anyway, they talked about how even today there is NO FEDERAL HATE CRIME LAW that extends to crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. Currently there is a bill proposed to United States Congress, The Matthew Shepard Act, first introduced in 2001, currently, 8 years later, awaiting a vote from the Senate. Progress???... we'll see.

Anygay, seeing this performance the day after the rally in Washington of over 75,000 gay rights activists, made me realize that I should try to do something.

SO, today I applied to volunteer for GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation).

I would even love to one day work for the organization, and perhaps make it my career... my grandmother always told me I'd make a great politician... I AM HERE TO RECRUIT YOU!

Please check out more information on GLAAD and ADL (Anti-Defamation League) and if you are gay, know a gay, or just love gays, volunteer!

Like Lady Gaga!

Nick & Nick Pilot

The pilot episode of "Nick & Nick" is set to shoot on October 25th, and we hope to release it to the interwebs by November. I hope we produce something worth watching, and that it will spark our brains to continue writing episodes. So far we only have 5 written episodes, but at our last production meeting, we decided that it was in our best interest to just get a pilot episode shot so that Nick and I can figure out our characters, our relationship, and our dynamic working together on a project in general.

This could not have come at a better time as I've felt a little under stimulated lately not being on Seriously Bent anymore. I didn't realize how big a role those jerks played in my life until I wasn't going to weekly rehearsals. They all continue to do pretty great things outside of SB, and I couldn't be prouder to watch them perform... with the exception of Kelly who's only accomplishment has been to unsuccessfully come out as a lesbian/Lady Ga Ga stalker.

Anyway, I'll keep all 6 of you up to date with the pilot and whatever progress we make on the show.

Halloween approaches fast!... WHAT AM I GOING TO BE???? All I can think of is Freddy Mercury (cliche) and a duel costume with Julia, me as Father Time and her as Mother Nature... you know, because she's rabid environmentalist with her 50 cats.

Open to other ideas gang...

Fashionably Late

Alright so after the last entry where I scolded all of you, I am hereby inviting you to this week's Fashionably Late event at The Liberty Hotel, located across the street from the Charles/MGH T stop. Doors will open at 8PM, the fashion show begins at 10PM, and guess what!... the fashionable wears are from SHAKE THE TREE!!!

That's right folks, we've hit the glamor circuit with models and DJs and the whole thing. I will be attending along with our lovely owner Marian, rock star Shakers Rewan and Julie, AND the clothing will be accessorized by local jeweler, Marissa Bethany.

If you would like to attend, and why wouldn't you, please RSVP to the following address: fashion@libertyhotel.com

This is their website: http://www.libertyhotel.com/

How cool is this place?


I do hope you can attend, all it will cost you is a cocktail and or appetizer and or dinner... if you so choose! You can always just come for the sexy party of models and fashion and ME!

An Open Letter To All Residents of Boston/Cambridge (and suburbs)

Dear Jerks,

You are NOT better than anyone!...

After spending my birthday in the New York City, I have come to this conclusion... Bostonians are cold and pretentious (a term formerly attached to my fiance Evan). The unfortunate thing is, NYC receives the connotation of being cold and pretentious, but really, it's not, Boston is! Now of course, I am making this judgment based on the wildly different experience I have in NYC gay bars versus Boston gay bars, however, just walking down the street in the West Village you can see a whole other climate of polite and pleasant. People make eye contact with you walk in NYC, it's occasional, but it happens!... and a smile is often attached!... Ok so maybe there were a few people that looked a little cold...

But still, NEVER HAPPENS IN BOSTON. Why do we think we're so F'ing great??? Are we afraid of rejection because the sun neglects to warm our bodies and faces for so many months of the year, so we never look at each other? No, that cannot be it, because I refer to you the greatest city in America, Chicago. Chicago becomes colder than NYC and Boston combined in the winter, and their citizens are some of the loveliest people I have ever encountered... EVEN MID JANUARY.

I have been to many cities both around the world, and I have to say, Boston is the only city where I feel the asshole-vibe. I am not saying I do not enjoy this city and it's even "hipper" sister-city, Cambridge, but I honestly cannot stand the way we carry ourselves, with propriety and a sense of entitlement. I can also say this about our people because I have spent 100% of my time here working customer service or retail, so I am constantly facing the public, and let me tell you, the bad outweigh the good.

So remember this, the next time you feel the need to not hold a door open for someone, there is someone better than you other there! There is someone that dresses better, has read more books, seen more movies, eaten in more restaurants, written more poetry, created more art, taken more pictures, made more people laugh, read more newspapers, watched more sports, PLAYED more sports, ETC.

Next time you're walking down the street, make eye contact and even throw them a smile, you'll probs make their day.

Sincerely,
Me