Below Average Height (TM)

HURUMPH!... ok I'm Over It

2011-05-17T13:27:00.013-04:00

Shut up. Everybody shut up.

I'm back in all my cranky glory y'all! I know you missed my brilliant social commentary, so what better way for me to make a grand blog post return than by whining about how I'm not getting my way!

I've decided this week that behavior such as a good ol' fashioned huffy pissy hissy fit is completely wasted on small children. Those little b-holes (I've been reading Bossypants by Tina Fey and so should you, idiot) get all the fun, and they're SO easily forgiven!!!... why?... cuz they're kids, and they don't know any better??? F THAT AND F THEM AND THEIR SOFT HEADS! If I feel like being a sour pus(s) for 8 hours, or a day, or a week, or a month... then so be it!

Ok, so I understand that no one likes a Grumpy Gus, neither do I, but I feel like I make a decent effort to internalize these feelings... wait, I think I learned from crashing AA meetings to meet desperate rock bottom men that you shouldn't BOTTLE up these feelings... whatever. When I say I internalize these gloomy moods of mine (I kept typing modds instead of moods there... I'm listening to Quadrophenia, surprise surprise... you don't care)I mean I don't lash out at people, I don't utilize the "misery loves company" cliche... I just order a pizza, eat a pint of ice cream, wash it all down with a bottle of red wine... and then aside from heart burn I'm usually fine the next day! In other words, I only do harm to myself physically, I cause no harm to anyone emotionally because that just ain't who I be!... SHIT

Shut up I'm getting a call...shut up...

... ok just my mom calling to ask if I had a "real job" yet... is it too early to start eating ice cream and drinking red wine?

I did take Kim's advice to channel this frustrating Limbo (not the party game) phase I am currently in, and I'm writing about it! I also read my friend Patty's blog www.barrettall.com/ and her advice to writers across the land, and I thought, what the hell, it's cold and rainy and wet all over and so am I!

AREN'T YOU GLAD I'M BACK WRITING?!?

HAVE A NICE DAY!

(C U Next Tuesday)

Coma Over

2010-03-23T20:10:00.006-04:00

So I'm awake... um, it has been quite some time since my last entry, but to be honest, I didn't think I should waste your time with frivolous and trivial bits of information about my life. Frankly, my life has been a bit boring the last few months, and I didn't think you really wanted to know about my Media Law class, what I think about LOST, or any lame inside jokes I might have with colleagues or friends (I hate LOST)... (and yes, I have colleagues)

However...

I'M BACK WITH NEW FUN THINGS STIMULATING MY MIND GRAPES!

First off, I'm dusting off my comedy cob webs, and I am proud to announce a new show at the Somerville Theater as part of the Awkward Compliment Comedy Showcase.

This is what they look like...

They're black and white with only bits of color saturation...

Here's the kicker... those who read this, most likely know that my background is in the improv, Thursday night, however, I will be performing STAND UP! gasp gasp gasp... alright calm down.

I performed stand up once before as part of my old improv group Seriously Bent's "Eat My Improv" festival, and I was proud of it, and it was "successful", but it was in front of my peers and family and friends. This week, I don't really know what to expect... granted I invited a lot of people I know, so I plan to have some familiar faces in the audience, but AC has been doing this show for the better part of a year now, and they get random walk-ins! That means, people with no prior knowledge as to who I am, or what I have done... might come to see this show.

AAAAaaaaaAAAaAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhHHHHHHHh (gulp)

Those eggs are scared...

So I will admit, I'm a bit nervous. I have written all new material, and the topics have nothing to do with me personally or my family, as my previous routine did. My hope is that I can continue to do this show, with new material each time, or edited and stronger material, and eventually... maybe I'll rent a theater and produce my own show... WHO KNOWS?!?!?!?

So there's that, NEXT... I'm taking a lot more pictures and trying to get a job as a photographer!

... ok that's boring...

Please, if you are a fan of laughing, or of me, or of Awkward Compliment, who are a group of great and ambitious comedians that sometimes just perform for each other because they love it so damn much... then COME SEE THIS SHOW:

DATE: Thursday, March 25
TIME: 8PM
PLACE: Somerville Theater, Davis Square (Red Line)
COST: a blow job... kidding: $5 students and $10 normals

I hope to see you there, please be gentle with me, because... I don't plan to be gentle with you.

cheers

Glad I'm With GLAAD

2009-10-14T13:35:00.005-04:00

Monday night I attended a staged reading of The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, and it was pretty astounding. The reading, at Emerson's Majestic Theatre, was performed simultaneously with over 150 participating theatres around the GLOBE, and it began with a simulcast, via the interwebs, from the main theatre in NYC. The performs also coincided with the 11 year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death on October 12. Members of the Tectonic Theatre Project, the group responsible for the original Laramie Project, returned to Laramie and conducted interviews with the town folk new and old. Some wouldn't comment, others tried to explain that Laramie is NOT a homophobic town, but because of the murder, that is what the town is known for, and some maintain that the murder was driven by drugs, or a robbery gone too far. In other words, they defend the theory that Matthew Shepard's murder was NOT a hate crime... idiots. Although, thanks to morons at 20/20, that theory has been given national attention... I'm never watchin 20/20 again.

What had the greatest impact on me was the interviews with the 2 men that committed this heinous crime, Russel Henderson and Aaron McKinney. Russel, in his interview, claimed to have remorse and guilt for what he had done, however, Aaron's interview was most haunting. Aaron's only guilt and remorse revolved around the disappointment he feels he inflicted on his father. He maintained to hate gays, and that he believed Matthew to be a sex predator, so to quote, "he had it coming". Really f'ing terrifying.

Following the reading, there was a short, live Q&A session with the Majestic audience and the president of GLAAD, a rep from ADL, and a woman from... somewhere that I can't remember, and anyway, they talked about how even today there is NO FEDERAL HATE CRIME LAW that extends to crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. Currently there is a bill proposed to United States Congress, The Matthew Shepard Act, first introduced in 2001, currently, 8 years later, awaiting a vote from the Senate. Progress???... we'll see.

Anygay, seeing this performance the day after the rally in Washington of over 75,000 gay rights activists, made me realize that I should try to do something.

SO, today I applied to volunteer for GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation).

I would even love to one day work for the organization, and perhaps make it my career... my grandmother always told me I'd make a great politician... I AM HERE TO RECRUIT YOU!

Please check out more information on GLAAD and ADL (Anti-Defamation League) and if you are gay, know a gay, or just love gays, volunteer!

Like Lady Gaga!

Nick & Nick Pilot

2009-10-06T14:17:00.003-04:00

The pilot episode of "Nick & Nick" is set to shoot on October 25th, and we hope to release it to the interwebs by November. I hope we produce something worth watching, and that it will spark our brains to continue writing episodes. So far we only have 5 written episodes, but at our last production meeting, we decided that it was in our best interest to just get a pilot episode shot so that Nick and I can figure out our characters, our relationship, and our dynamic working together on a project in general.

This could not have come at a better time as I've felt a little under stimulated lately not being on Seriously Bent anymore. I didn't realize how big a role those jerks played in my life until I wasn't going to weekly rehearsals. They all continue to do pretty great things outside of SB, and I couldn't be prouder to watch them perform... with the exception of Kelly who's only accomplishment has been to unsuccessfully come out as a lesbian/Lady Ga Ga stalker.

Anyway, I'll keep all 6 of you up to date with the pilot and whatever progress we make on the show.

Halloween approaches fast!... WHAT AM I GOING TO BE???? All I can think of is Freddy Mercury (cliche) and a duel costume with Julia, me as Father Time and her as Mother Nature... you know, because she's rabid environmentalist with her 50 cats.

Open to other ideas gang...

Fashionably Late

2009-10-05T14:22:00.005-04:00

Alright so after the last entry where I scolded all of you, I am hereby inviting you to this week's Fashionably Late event at The Liberty Hotel, located across the street from the Charles/MGH T stop. Doors will open at 8PM, the fashion show begins at 10PM, and guess what!... the fashionable wears are from SHAKE THE TREE!!!

That's right folks, we've hit the glamor circuit with models and DJs and the whole thing. I will be attending along with our lovely owner Marian, rock star Shakers Rewan and Julie, AND the clothing will be accessorized by local jeweler, Marissa Bethany.

If you would like to attend, and why wouldn't you, please RSVP to the following address: fashion@libertyhotel.com

This is their website: http://www.libertyhotel.com/

How cool is this place?

I do hope you can attend, all it will cost you is a cocktail and or appetizer and or dinner... if you so choose! You can always just come for the sexy party of models and fashion and ME!

An Open Letter To All Residents of Boston/Cambridge (and suburbs)

2009-10-04T14:11:00.005-04:00

Dear Jerks,

You are NOT better than anyone!...

After spending my birthday in the New York City, I have come to this conclusion... Bostonians are cold and pretentious (a term formerly attached to my fiance Evan). The unfortunate thing is, NYC receives the connotation of being cold and pretentious, but really, it's not, Boston is! Now of course, I am making this judgment based on the wildly different experience I have in NYC gay bars versus Boston gay bars, however, just walking down the street in the West Village you can see a whole other climate of polite and pleasant. People make eye contact with you walk in NYC, it's occasional, but it happens!... and a smile is often attached!... Ok so maybe there were a few people that looked a little cold...

But still, NEVER HAPPENS IN BOSTON. Why do we think we're so F'ing great??? Are we afraid of rejection because the sun neglects to warm our bodies and faces for so many months of the year, so we never look at each other? No, that cannot be it, because I refer to you the greatest city in America, Chicago. Chicago becomes colder than NYC and Boston combined in the winter, and their citizens are some of the loveliest people I have ever encountered... EVEN MID JANUARY.

I have been to many cities both around the world, and I have to say, Boston is the only city where I feel the asshole-vibe. I am not saying I do not enjoy this city and it's even "hipper" sister-city, Cambridge, but I honestly cannot stand the way we carry ourselves, with propriety and a sense of entitlement. I can also say this about our people because I have spent 100% of my time here working customer service or retail, so I am constantly facing the public, and let me tell you, the bad outweigh the good.

So remember this, the next time you feel the need to not hold a door open for someone, there is someone better than you other there! There is someone that dresses better, has read more books, seen more movies, eaten in more restaurants, written more poetry, created more art, taken more pictures, made more people laugh, read more newspapers, watched more sports, PLAYED more sports, ETC.

Next time you're walking down the street, make eye contact and even throw them a smile, you'll probs make their day.

Sincerely,
Me

Eureka!

2009-09-03T12:05:00.005-04:00

EUREKA!... no we should call Eureka, she always has great ideas.

So with Seriously Bent a thing of the past, I've been racking my mind grapes trying to figure out what I want to do to continue in the world of chuckles. Patty's last blog entry was sort of inspiring and made me realize that I need to stop sitting around, and I need to get out there and do more shows, but HOW?!

Well, I did stand up once... and I really enjoyed it... particularly since it kind of went surprisingly well. So I hope to do that thing. THEN I am currently in pre-production on a retro-scripted web series with Dick Wilson and Goose-staff Cadet. Goose is our producer and director, and Nick and I will be the big stars, the head honchos, the chiefs of... of our manhoods. Anyway, that's cooking in the pot with some potatoes, safron, and a little cumin... Ok A LOT of cumin.

In the long run I hope to audition again for the NXT cast of Improv Asylum because I miss having regular shows and it's always been a dream/goal of mine since I first saw those monkeys on stage 4 years ago. Good times! Plus, as I left Evan's going away party, he told me to audition again and that I was really good, and even though he already had a couple fruit punch drinks in him, I took that to heart because I look up to him as we're in the same generation of fresh faced Boston make em uppers... that and he's as tall as a giraffe...

! ! !GIRAFFE! ! !

So those are my goals/plans/current goings on. I know I do a lot of talkin' and not a lot of DOIN', but hopefully if I continue to write things down, I'll eventually quit doddling and diddling and I'll just get to action.

Stay tuned!

FLOSS: The Musical

2009-08-26T01:32:00.004-04:00

No, I am not writing a show stopping... show, about oral hygiene.

My hero, Pete Townshend of The Who, is currently writing a new musical in the style of Tommy and Quadrophenia, entitled (for now) Floss. Floss is the female lead interest in the story. For those of you not up on the discography of the greatest rock band of all time, Tommy is the story of the deaf, dumb and blind boy... Tommy Walker, or the Pinball Wizard. Quadrophenia is probably lesser known to non-Who fans, but is, in my opinion, Pete's magnum opus. Every lyric in that album drips with philosophy and enlightenment and pure human reality. Quad focuses on a young male, Jimmy Cooper, caught in the battles between mods and rockers in London and his personalities are heard through each member of the band, and there are four, so quad... quad also refers to the concept of surround sound. This album got me through many a dark time.

Anyway, his latest work would best be described in his own words, so I will let you read his latest blog entry regarding his new venture:

"FLOSS is an ambitious new project for me, in the style of TOMMY and QUADROPHENIA. In this case the songs are interspersed with surround-sound 'soundscapes' featuring complex sound-effects and musical montages. FLOSS will be a son-et-lumiére musical piece, intended for outdoor performance, or arenas. Several of the more conventional songs from FLOSS will be featured on a forthcoming Who recording for release in 2010. FLOSS will be heard in concert for the first time in 2011, at a venue and date yet to be established. I am already having talks with producers in New York.

The collected music and sound for FLOSS convey the story of a married couple whose relationship gets into difficulty. Walter, a straight-cut pub rock musician, is able to retire when one of his songs becomes the TV anthem of a big car company. He becomes a house-husband while his wife Floss devotes herself to a riding stables and stud. When he tries to return to music after a fifteen year hiatus, he finds that what he hears and what he composes evoke the ecologically rooted, apocalyptic mindset of his generation. Shaken by this and torn by personal difficulties, he and Floss become estranged. A series of dramatic events in a hospital emergency ward bring them both to their senses.

While Roger Daltrey exercises his ageing vocal chords by embarking on a two month USE OR LOSE IT solo tour, my focus is on FLOSS, which touches on the current issues faced by the Boomer generation. It also addresses their uneasy relationship with their parents, children and grandchildren. As a 19 year old – with My Generation – I wrote the most explicitly ageist song in rock. At 64, I now want to take on ageing and mortality, using the powerfully angry context of rock 'n' roll." - Pete Townshend
courtesy of www.thewho.com

So that's pretty damn great. Pete worked with directors and producers on a staged adaptation of Quadrophenia, and that is currently showing in the UK. My fingers are doubly crossed that it makes a journey over to our neck of the woods. They (The Who) always had a difficult time performing this album live as a 4 piece band because unlike Tommy, Quadrophenia doesn't have a very obvious forward narrative. It really requires extra writing to string together a story line.

I'm very excited to hear this news of a new album and project. I have to agree with another hero of mine, also named Pete, that Pete Townshend is the living embodiment of "The Poet" as defined by Emerson... and I too, will fight you on this one.

Melting Pot Heatwave!

2009-08-18T11:27:00.012-04:00

Damn it's hot! The miserable heat of summer has finally hit the Bay State this week as temperatures hold in the mid 90s. It seems like the seasons this year were incredibly jarring. We went from winter, to weird cold rainy sloppy Spring, to just rainy and sloppy summer with not much sun, and now we just have oppressive thick heat and humidity. That sentence is probably far longer than it is supposed to be, but who cares? NO ONE READS THIS BLOG ANYMORE ANYWAY!!! How are YOU dealing with this week's heat? Below Average Height wants to know! Post your answers as replies if you wish... or just tell me what you're wearing today.

This entry is going to be a MELTING pot of subjects since a fair amount occurred since I last wrote. Starting with:

We did it!!! Great big thank yous go out to everyone that attended Kelly and I's show and to Patty and the "boys" of Awkward Compliment for having us on. We (I) really enjoyed performing together and we (I) hope we (I) can do it again sometime soon. Props to Jeremy and Evan for also having a really great show. Evan, why do you hate me SO much?

We went on first before a packed house (32 people) and it was so nice to see familiar faces and some non-familiar ones and some familiar ones that at the end of the show I didn't recognize... sorry Kim and Randy. You're both great.

Kelly and I showed up to the theater a bit early to rehearse and ended up in the storage room lifting bags of popcorn. When asked what we were doing in there, I smoothly answered, "we're just warming up". Kelly looked like a deer caught in head lights as thoughts of free candy and soda danced through her over processed head/hair. Our relationships and characters were often conflicting, but it kind of worked. Suck it rules of improv! "Just rape what's in front of you" - Susan Messing.

Ok so next: I moved!!! And I heart my new apartment so hard. Here are some photos courtesy of my new roommate, Christina.

It's really pretty great. My step mother gave me the record player her and her first husband purchased together, so I'm going to play the Who records she gave me on it! I'm so excited for that.

Ok just 2 more quick updates, and I'll wrap up. I realize that no one enjoys reading long blog entries.

So this idiot had a birthday:

To celebrate we strolled along Cambridge Street and checking the Jameson at each bar. Plus one Mai Thai. While drinking the Mai Thai, the bartender, a 60ish year old Chinese man received a foot rub from another 60ish year old drunk biker-esque looking man named Billy O'Malley... ugh only with Nick. We ended the night snuggling up on his futon, possibly for the last time, as he's moving out to Forest Hills in JP with 3 middle aged men.

OK! We're almost done, my last bit of news involves me having a job interview... TODAY at Brodney's Antiques Shop on Newbury Street.

Oh! Oh! and do yourself a favor and pick up this book:

I'm literally obsessed with all things Amy Sedaris lately, and this book is just JAM packed with humor and insight and recipes and crafts, and ugh... I just love her.

Ok, tata for now!

Below Average Height: LIVE!

2009-08-03T11:44:00.007-04:00

Well everyone, my blog has been picked up for season 2.314 including a live performance! ! ! "A live performance?! How on EARTH can you do a LIVE version of this blog?!?!?!"... you probably just asked. Well, you will just have to come to the Somerville Theater THIS Thursday night, August 6th, at 8PM, to find out.

I will be performing a 2 person improvised set in Awkward Compliment's weekly comedy showcase with my very dear friend, Kelly Dooley. Kelly and I performed together with Seriously Bent for three years, and now that they have filed a restraining order against me, I have to find other venues to do shows. Since Patty's group does not know me well enough to realize that I have issues, they agreed to let me perform with them!

This is their logo!

Yikes, I almost put 'there' instead of 'their'... boy I would not have heard the end of that from my editor...

Anygay, Patty and the "boys" of Awkward Compliment perform in the Somerville Theater just about every Thursday night this summer, and perhaps beyond, featuring different improv groups and stand-up comedians. Shows are always at 8PM and only cost $10! What a great bargain in these turbulent economic times... I think something's going on with oil or insurgency... I don't know I can't keep up with everything... I get nose bleeds.

Bottom line, please come see our show, we're both very excited to entertain each other and maybe even you.

Plus we're adorable...

I mean don't we just melt your heart...

A Message To The Class of 2009

2009-05-15T10:52:00.003-04:00

Hello there, sorry for the long silence, but I, have been, busy? Sure.

A message to the Class of 2009: (from an intern at NY Neofuturists)

Wear sunscreen (I never promised this message wouldn’t be trite and corny). Wear condoms, safety goggles, seat belts and a fucking helmet. You only get one body, that by this point you or someone else has spent a considerable amount of money on making smart. Protect the investment. Oh, and HPV is everywhere. Sex be so good it gives ya cancer, so wrap it up.

It’s ok to be scared. Be as scared as you want. I know I am, but don’t expect it to ever go away. It doesn’t get better it only gets different. You know you’re living it right if you wake up screaming, in a cold sweat, and in clothes you didn’t go to bed in at least once a week.

You deserve to be happy. Do whatever it takes to make that happen. Sleep around, get a dog, do drugs, drink too much, eat too much, make long distance phone calls, see theater, listen to music, watch porn, make porn, dye your hair green, marry a fat dude, write plays, wear only leotards, fondle statues, whatever. Happiness is different for everyone so don’t be all judgy, unless judging people makes you happy then of course go for it.

Sometimes in life, for things to really matter you need to do them all by yourself. (a principal that also applies to masturbation and flossing as well as moving boldly on with the rest of your life)

Ask for help when you need it. (a principal that also applies to masturbation and flossing as well as moving boldly on with the rest of your life)

It takes two people to be in love. One is not enough. If they don’t love you back steal their identity and buy yourself things on their credit card. If you can’t have them you can at least have 12 Sham Wows and 4 Snuggies to comfort you and mop up all the tears and other loneliness related bodily fluids.

Don’t worry too much about finding a “real” job because you’re not gonna find one. This world hasn’t yet made room for us. So bus tables, baby-sit, sell the Internet over the phone, intern, and write blogs in your cubicle while you should be working. Do it with integrity and you’ll get there one day. If not, sell your blood and buy a flat screen that you can sit in front of and smoke bongs. Because material things, television and drugs will fill up the emptiness inside if you try real hard.

Have fun, get dirty, stay up late, try new things, call your mom, look at the stars, do things that scare you, meet new people, and appreciate what you have.

Stick it to the man, remember to not forget, work hard, play hard, be a good friend and be yourself.

Break the mold, break your nails, break the bank, break patio furniture, and break hearts.

Give it all you got, give thoughtful gifts, give that homeless guy a dollar, and give me a fucking break.

Now go out there and do your best. Everything is going to be just fine (a lie but I wish it for you) “Be bold and the mighty forces will come to your aide"-Goethe.

Oh and SEE TOO MUCH LIGHT MAKES THE BABY GO BLIND as much as humanly possible.

Carpe Diem Kiddos,
Meg Bash

Give My Heart A Chubby

2009-03-11T01:44:00.002-04:00

So I guess while we had 2 men dominate in the stand-up category, the ladies are racking it up in the improv/sketch category in our Salute to Comedy... I'm giving it a title... gimmicks! Alright, continuing our "Salute to Comedy", we go now to the first ever sketch show I ever saw entitled, "Two Girls for Five Bucks".

Written and performed by Cathleen Carr and Daiva Deupree, 2gf5b is a 2 woman, sketch comedy, burlesque show. They feature real life stories about their love and sex lives and sketches including devilishly outrageous characters and scenarios. They are a comedy giant, their talent is exquisite, and their newest off-broadway show, Two Girls For Five Bucks, and The Ten Dollar Heartbreakers will hopefully be as devious, raunchy, and wildly classy as the last show. Here is a clip of a sketch they performed at Sketchubator:

Their new show opens... well today, March 11 and runs until March 28th. Their venue is the lovely Ars Nova in New York City. If you live in the NYC area, GO SEE THIS SHOW. If you DON'T live in the area, get on a Bolt or Mega bus (avoid getting blown up by a Fung Wah), go down for the day, or make a little vaca out of it, and GO SEE THIS SHOW. Trust me, you cannot be disappointed... unless you're Born Again... something tells me Born Agains wouldn't appreciate this.

I'll leave you with a little preview of their new show, enjoy:

Messing With Ike

2009-03-10T22:47:00.006-04:00

Sorry for the massive gaps between entries. After the focus of a couple stand-ups, we're going to continue with my tribute to comedy by shifting to improvisational comedians/actors/comedic actors. For those of you that know me, I dabble in the improv, so this is very dear to my soul.

Let's begin with THE lady of improv, Dame Susan Messing of Chicago. I have seen her show Messing With a Friend twice, and last November, had the amazing opportunity to have a workshop with her at The Annoyance Theatre. The Annoyance was founded by Mick Napier, former Second City director, in the late 80's, and Susan has been performing her show since 2004. Every Thursday she features 1 or 2 actors from Improv Olympic, The Annoyance, Second City, or other notable venues from Chicago and across the country.

This woman absolutely blew my mind when I first saw her show. It took me about 15 minutes to accept that she was improvising. She's also amazingly filthy... with her language, not her hygiene, like Kelly Dooley.

Ok, so here is a little piece from Messing With Ike Barinholtz (MadTV). Susan just asks the audience for a word, I don't know what inspired this scene, but...enjoy. Oh, and also keep in mind that it's sometimes difficult to appreciate improv through video, so, just laugh... they're improvising a scene about doing a show with Mick Napier.

Not In My Back Yard

2009-02-26T18:11:00.008-05:00

George Carlin is always remembered for his 7 Dirty Words routine, and while it is a brilliant routine, this master of language had many greater bits. When a comedian is arrested for a routine though, that's the one that will be talked about.

In the wee hours of the morning at Kelly's apartment, after I "cock-blocked her" Nick Wilson and I had a stand-up bit battle. He did George Carlin bits and I did EDDiE iZZARD bits. Then the police came, but instead of finding a raging party with drugs and naked people, they just found a metrosexual and a homosexual imitating a dead comedian and a transvestite comedian.

Here is an example of George's ability to hold the mirror up to society with eloquent precision.

Ok so George Carlin deserves 2 clips. This is a great example of his mastery of the English language... mastery of... I need to brush up on grammar.

Stand Sit Up, Laugh

2009-02-26T10:36:00.005-05:00

Please enjoy, as over the next few days, I shall share with all 4 of you, some of my favorite moments from some of the greatest comedians.

We begin with an Englishman in a dress, or frock as the English say, EDDiE iZZARD. I saw EDDiE at Radio City Music Hall this past summer, and he's hung up his transvestite-ism, at least on stage. For the most part though, he was a subtle transvestite, like he wouldn't literally wear a dress, but heals and make up, and, well, you'll see. I'll post a good amount of EDDiE since he is my favorite, and I have nothing of great importance to say personally right now, so I'll let others speak with great comedy!... maybe I should try LSD? Nah.

This is from his HBO special Dress To Kill, and it took place in San Francisco.

Bye Everybody, Bye!

2009-02-25T14:28:00.004-05:00

Host of Late Night with Conan O'Brien... Conan O'Brien, has left his show after 16 years to take over The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. When I first heard of this news I was heart broken at the thought that Conan would have to alter his style for a new late night audience. Later, I was reassured by the man himself (not in person) that Late Night's stupid gags and antics would not go anywhere, as they are what his fans love. That and his rapist wit. When I heard that he was to replaced by Jimmy Fallon, and not me, I was also deeply saddened for 2 reasons. 1, I've never been a huge fan of Jimmy Fallon since he could never keep his shit together in a sketch on SNL, and 2, hello, I'm available to move to NYC and host a late night show, hello?! Lorne Michaels?! I AM AVAILABLE!

Anyway, the plus to this is I won't have to stay up until 1:30 in the morning to watch Conan anymore, because I prefer to be asleep by 10PM... really? no.

Conan has been an idol to me, and I am incredibly jealous of his career, and my little boy dream is to be him... tall, Irish, with a flat pale face... oh and on television doing stand-up, improv, sketches, and interviews. The man has sat down with The Who people!

In order to be in Conan's shoes, I've decided to compare our lives and paths to see if I'm heading in the right direction

Conan was born in Brookline, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston. I was born in Boylston, Massachusetts, a suburb of Worcester.

Conan's mother was an attorney and his father was a physician/professor of medicine. My mother is a Senior Materials Manager for a biotech company and my dad makes glasses.

Conan is 6' 4". I am 5' 4".

Conan attended Harvard University and graduated magna cum laude with a degree in history and literature. I will hopefully no longer be on academic probation at Suffolk and graduate on time with a degree in journalism.

After working as a writer in LA, Conan was hired by Lorne Michals to write for Saturday Night Live, and then he lived briefly in Chicago with Jeff Garlin while performing improv. I have never gotten a sketch into a Seriously Bent revue, but I did live briefly with premier improv director and former mainstage cast member of Improv Asylum, Jeremy Brothers.

After resigning from writer with The Simpsons, Conan auditioned as David Letterman's successor, and became host of Late Night.

I wrote and hosted The Magic Hour in Suffolk's new TV studio with a make believe guest and a monologue joke about Chinese people.

Hmmmmm... I think I'm on a similar path.

Conan's final show at Late Night was sincere, gracious, and heart-felt, giving proof to his popularity as one of the greatest television talents of the genre.

I will leave you with one of my favorite Conan bits. In the following video, Conan visits Napa Valley for some wine education during his San Francisco series.

Laugh Until I Cry

2009-02-03T22:46:00.001-05:00

My friend Dan sent me this tonight, and I laughed so hard, I cried. Nothing has made me laugh like this in forever.

A Tree Metaphor

2009-01-29T10:46:00.002-05:00

We'll continue YouTube Faves with a video that I saw yesterday. Clarence posted this video on his blog http://clipsandchips.blogspot.com and I loved it. This is an extended version of what he posted.

Enjoy...

YouTube-YouBoob-YouCube

2009-01-28T13:57:00.002-05:00

Nick, we would LOVE to see your favorite YouTube videos.

Ok readers!

We begin with a video that was introduced to me 3 years ago when I first started with Seriously Bent. It's hilarious, and I show to it every new person that comes into my life... after I get a feel for their humor tolerance level.

Enjoy...

Moved

2009-01-27T00:50:00.004-05:00

Have you ever seen someone so emotionally, genuinely, and physically involved in singing one single song as this? I'm sure you have and I'm willing to learn, so post them if you know them.

This happened a few weeks ago, but I just can't stop watching it.

Soul, R&B, and Blues artist, Bettye LaVette brilliantly performs The Who's "Love Reign O'er Me" at the 2009 Kennedy Center Honors.

Absolutely stunning.

3 Stinky Cheeses

2009-01-26T10:11:00.007-05:00

Since Brian is my "executive" producer, I'm typing this entry in Courier... like it? Great.

Friday night was a big stock pot of gayness. How do you make gay stock Nick??? Well, first you start with a nice blonde brassy base, like chicken stock... I prefer Kelly Dooley since her legs closely resemble chicken thighs. Then you add a leather clad, but non-lesbian, red-headed hag, and since Jules is up north fucking moose, I went with Patty. For a little spice, Patty kicked it up a notch with a gay Mexican... or El Salvadorian... or something, by the name of Roberto. Pour in a softly lit restaurant, Tremont 647, until you cover the foursome. Then for strong flavor throw in strong cocktails, over-priced French fries, a 3 cheese appetizer, and folks, you got yoself a stewing pot of homo.

If you really want a gay feast... scrounge up Alex and Reeve, and now you have a smorGAYsbord.

Friday night began with cocktails and light finger food at Tremont 647 in the South End. The restaurant was intimate, softly lit, and politely staffed. We were seated right away, despite being 9ish on a Friday night, and we didn't even receive attitude for really only having cocktails. By the way, if you want strong drinks, go to gay bars. I had some gin concoction followed by the Tremont Tang and I was in a happy place.

We finished up in the restaurant, and then walked right next door to Tremont 647's sister establisment, Sister Sorel... SISTER SISTER... yeah. This was the Boston gay bar I enjoy. The bar was lit by tall taper candles, and from the ceiling hung tea light candles! Like 647, Sister Sorel was very small, cozy, intimate, and the staff was kind... well, maybe not exactly kind, but attractive! I was having a splendid time there, but the rest of the gay entourage wanted to dance so I was dragged to Club Cafe.

Yep... there it is... in all of it's designer t-shirt/faux hawk glory holeness. My 2 previous visits to Club Cafe were not pleasant, so I've developed a complex. However, this time I was packing heat, and by heat, I mean Kelly and Patty. I danced with Roberto and Patty, Reeve and Alex went off to hunt, and then we left. It was an overall wonderous evening, but Club Caffaux hawk does make me slightly uncomfortable. Maybe because I never intend to go there, so I'm never really properly dressed... you know not like a Bel Ami star.

I want to go back to Sister Sorel, and 647 for their pajama brunch!

A Presto...

Dooley Fireside Chats

2009-01-21T10:57:00.011-05:00

Like every good American, I celebrated yesterday's Presidential Inauguration by eating and drinking. Is that not my God given right?... as a citizen?... "citizen". Well it is, so I met with my fine dining partner, Kelly Dooley, for an evening in Harvard Square. Kelly is unofficially becoming my go to gal for dining/drinking adventures. I like going to new places, she likes new places, I like trying new foods, she's fine if it's covered in cheese. It's a match made in... something.

This is Kelly:
We met at the Coop because I needed a copy of Cormac McCarthy's The Road... a book... for my Review Writing class. We wandered around in there for a bit and Kelly tried to coax me into buying the Twilight book by saying, "come on Nick, just make the investment, you know you want to." I did want to, but I couldn't tell her that, I don't like to enable addictions, and her infatuation with the undead is unhealthy.

After making my purchase and flirting with the young man in line behind us, we headed out to find our place of the week. First, I was going to take her to Shay's Pub and Wine Bar, but a big part of me wanted something new. Next, we stumbled upon a Tapas restaurant, which sounded nice because Tapas is latin for tiny food, and since we're tiny people, what could be more perfect?!... Of course upon looking in the windows we realized that the clientel was middle aged and not in the mood for us. Finally, it hit me like a little red house!

"Kelly! Eleanor was literally JUST talking about this cozy little place next to Charlie's called The Red House! Wanna go?!?!?!" says me.

"OK!" says Kelly.

We walk in to this little red house dating back to 1802 and owned, originally, by a couple of widows... not at the same time. The building sits atop a retaining wall dating back to 1634, so yes, we were actually being patriotic and Americana nostalgic. It's now owned by the same guy that owns Charlie's Kitchen which is right next door. The individual rooms have been redecorated to private dining rooms, adorned with original woodwork and fireplaces. The bar itself has an original fireplace and 5 or 6 dining tables and then the full bar.

Imagine this without the bright light of the flash, and a little roaring fire.

F'ing adorable! I had a glass of cabernet, as per usual, and Kelly had a Stella, because she loves the woman (points if you remember Stella). Then we each ordered an appetizer, I went with the roasted pork egg roll, and Kel had an eggplant parmesan thing... remember, cheese, great. For dessert I indulged in one of the best tiramisus I've ever had. We each ordered a Disaronno on the rocks, and the conversation overfloweth.

We talked about family, close friends, ideas for the future, and how little we actually know about anything. We've only been around for a couple decades, have only known each other for 3 years (weird) and while both of us have gone through traumatic events in our lives, we still have SO much to do and experience. We both agreed that we'd be satisfied if in 25 years we both were able to support a family, and were happy. aaaaaaaawwwwwwww. Of course after we lived a life for ourselves, because you can't truly give yourself to others until you are content with your own self... which means the occasional self-indulgence. It's true... we're in college... we know things... not really. Anygay, warmed, relaxed, and comforted but a 19th century fireplace we talked for almost 3 hours and I would have stayed for 5, but the T is dumb and the waitstaff wanted to go home.

We decided we want to be regulars at The Red House so that when we arrive the host says, "oh hi Nick and Kelly, table near the fireplace? Cabernet and Stella? You guys look great!"

I also think Kelly is pefect for going out on dining/drinkin excursions because she's a little adventurer and is never a poop, so she's always up for it. Plus she has about 15,000 more stories to tell me about Peabody.

We finally decided to work hard and save our money, so that when we get old, we don't have to kiss anybody's ass.

I heart Kelly Dooley.

... OBAMA!

Fever Dream. I wanna know what you mean. Fever Dream

2009-01-07T13:29:00.005-05:00

I'm hopefully at the end of a stomach flu, which has been miserable, BUT, with stomach flu comes fever... also miserable, BUT, with fever comes fever dreams, which are often some of my favorite and most vivid. Last night, I had a fever dream that turned out to be a slight premonition. In the dream, my grandfather and I were driving down Belair Street (remember I used to live next to my grandparents) in a red Jeep Grand Cherokee, similar to this one:

They used to drive one of those, but now they drive a car. Anygay, he parked in front of his driveway, we both got out, and suddenly it started driving backwards. It picked up speed and then the rear turned and crashed into a tree. In the dream my grandfather blamed me, and I literally started SCREAMING at him, and I used many expletives. Now, in reality, about 30 minutes ago, my mom calls me, and tells me that as my grandfather was driving home from the hospital today, the rear of his car lost control, he did a 360 and crashed into a pole!

He's ok, don't worry. BUT HOW FREAKIN' BEEZARRE IS THAT?!

I had goosebumps... R.L Stine style. Other dreams included me watching an episode of Arrested Development that Kelly had a cameo appearance in. I then went to her apartment and hugged her SO tight to congratulate her. She taught George Sr. how to smoke a bowl... in the episode... in my dream.

Let's see... oh! Same night as the jeep dream, I dreamed I was on vacation on a beach with my mom and brother, only my mom looked a lot older with hair bleached blond by the sun, but my brother and I were much younger? We waited in a huge line for take-out from a swanky restaurant, and then got on a boat and went fishing.

Oh! oh! and a sex dream about Michael Cera... I watch a lot of Arrested Development. Michael lived in the apartment building next to mine in the North End, so we would often see other, and then one day he came over and... well... Nicky horny Michael (points if you laughed at that reference)
This is Michael Cera... he actually is very cute:

I think that just about does it for my dreams...

(more points if you name the song I tried to pun in the title of this post)

ciao tutti

Nothing Gold Can Stay Gold Can Stay

2008-12-16T12:59:00.011-05:00

So generally, I hate roller coasters... I literally hate them. I hate that quick, sucking in of air, sinking feeling that happens so rapidly. I found the above picture and said, hey, that's me, a little girl with training wheels plunging into the depths of a shaky wooden coaster putting all of my trust into my helmet and my purple shorts that give me a wedgey. I'm not necessarily a little girl, but gay jokes are always funny... right? ha?... ok. So, basically, in my personal life, I met someone, we dated, it was great, and then it ended a weekish ago. This was a, start at the top of the coaster thing, then went super fast and upside down, and THEN went into a slow upward climb which resulted in a break up, and that is really all I want to say on the matter.

In my improv world, Seriously Bent kicked ass in the regional finals at Improv Asylum, we went to Chicago, made it to the finals, and then lost... picking up on any themes? This went down first week in November, the break up occured in the first week of December... got goosebumps? I do! Mitch, Patty, and I auditioned for Improv Asylum's NXT cast last night, and we were all called back... so-that's fun!

This is us, pre-disappointment. I mean, despite ANOTHER loss, Chicago is amazing, and someday I will live there.

Another sinking feeling came at the same time of my break up, and that was with the death of yet another high school friend. His name is Dom Mallary, and he was a brilliant artist, and a true friend. The news of his death shocked all of us as just a little over a year ago, Katie unexpectedly passed away. Katie and Dom were in the same class, and Dom spoke at her wake. The loss of Dom was surreal and very painful because I couldn't go home to be with my friends, but I tried to keep in touch with them to talk and comfort and grieve.

This is Dom and Katie...

Seize upon that moment long ago
One breath away and there you will be
So young and carefree
Again you will see
That place in time...so gold

Steal away into that way back when
You thought that all would last forever
But like the weather
Nothing can ever...and be in time
Stay gold

But can it be
When we can see
So vividly
A memory
And yes you say
So must the day
Too, fade away
And leave a ray of sun
So gold

Life is but a twinkling of an eye
Yet filled with sorrow and compassion
Though not imagined
All things that happen
Will age too old
Though gold

The Road To Chicago

2008-10-09T17:29:00.004-04:00

This coming Saturday, at Improv Asylum, Seriously Bent will compete in our first round of competition before going to the 2nd annual National College Improv Tournament! Now, I'm pretty sure I didn't talk about that experience in this blog, because I started this thingy thing after we went. So, last year we received an automatic slot in the finals, and we did that because we rap?... apparently. Anyway, we didn't really have to do any work in order to make it to Chicago last year besides reform our structure to fit a new competition.

THIS year, however, we don't have it so easy. We must first win a preliminary competition, which is against 3 other groups, and THEN, if we make it past that, we have to compete in a regional finals on the same day...well technically midnight, so Sunday... anyway, we have some work to do.

First, there was the, "oh shit, we can't just go to Chicago this year?" reaction. Which was followed by the, "oh shit, we have to learn musical improv in order to get there??" reaction. That's right, we sing now folks! The last 2 weeks have involved 2 hour workshops learning how to improvise musically. It is SO FUN, even though I'm not really doing it in the show, I'm hosting the structure, but learning it was a blast because we warmed up like a chorus.

So Saturday we face 3 groups in our slot, and then IF we win, we perform again at midnight in the regional finals, and if we win THAT we go to Chicago. Oh and guess who's hosting the entire thing Saturday?... I'll show you:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Dame Gussy Eskowitz. Julia Gustafson returns to Improv Aslyum from her long sobatical in The Granite State to host a college improv tournament, and of course this tournament includes Seriously Bent, of which Julia used to be a part of... her hosting enthusiasm should be interesting for each group.

So, to wrap up, come see this show, because it's mad important, and will be the debut of Seriously Bent performing musical numbers!

Heres' the info:

DATE: Saturday, October 11.
TIME : 4:00 p.m. (Seriously Bent's time) the entire show begins at 2:00 p.m.
Midnight for the Finals
PLACE: Improv Asylum 216 Hanover Street - Boston's North End

Hello?

2008-09-21T18:32:00.002-04:00

Hello? Ok just checking.

I'll be back tomorrow. I promise. I hope you're well.

Talk to you soon.

A Blog To Live By

2008-08-22T16:58:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time there was a blog called http://barrettall.blogspot.com, and a TV show called Sex And The City. After reading and watching the combination of the 2 creative mediums, I was inspired to start this blog. Now since then, this very blog which you are reading, has inspired numerous OTHER blogs!

Today I walked into work, and my boss Penny stopped me and told me that she began a blog! I have a link to it if you're interested, and you should be, she's a ray of lemon drops, it's the Penny + Penny blog. She told me that I inspired her to start blogging. Now I don't want this to sound pretentious or arrogant, because I'm not like, hell yeah, I'm an inspiration to do things. Her words just really made me proud, because now I feel like I've helped to spark more creativity and writing and thinking!

This chain blog reaction began with Stefanie, you remember Stefanie right? She's my 23 year old co-worker that I made cry because she's getting braces and I'm a dink? Remember? SHE started blogging about her adventures with getting braces as a grown up. Even though that blog came out of tears which I inflicted, it nonetheless was formed, and is now helping others in a similar metallic situation.
http://bracingmyself.tumblr.com

Next came Derrick. Derrick is also one of my bosses. You remember Derrick, right? He's the one with a ferret and we walked to my place drunk, through the Gardens, and he crashed on my tiny couch? Remember him? Well he started TWO blogs! Count em! TWO! We were talking about blogs, and my blog, and he said he had ideas for blogs, and I said, BLOG, so he did! Even though that blog was started from my command, it nonetheless was formed, and he now, voluntarily, creates new posts. I particularly enjoy the randomness of Derrick's first blog. It's not so much about him and his life. The other blog is equally clever. He reviews things, but only gives positive feedback, even if he dislikes something. He finds at least ONE thing positive, and blogs it.
http://derrickandyou.blogspot.com
http://glasshalffullreviews.blogspot.com

THEN came Derrick's friend Josh. Josh ALSO began 2 blogs after Derrick started his blogs! SO, ipso facto(?)... these blogs would NEVER have been created had I not made Derrick begin his blogs.
http://bowlofgranola.blogspot.com
http://thingsiinvented.blogspot.com

And finally there's Penny's brandy new blog. I have no idea how it's going to go. Seems like she's going to do a lot of venting through her writing in an attempt to cleanse her soul? So how nice is that?!
http://www.pennypluspenny.blogspot.com

Look at all of the writing that I helped to inspire! 6 blogs!

(... and of course indirectly this all spawned from Patty and Sex And The City...)

But YAY me!

Whiskey Talk, With Nick Wilson

2008-08-21T14:55:00.004-04:00

21 BUT HE STILL LOVES GOODY'S !

Nick W: Do you swallow?
Me: Depends on the guy.
Nick W: Yeah me too

Nick W: I'll pay you $150 to grow a beard.

Nick W: Kiss me, those Mexicans think we're gay.

Nick W: (squishing his fat around his belly-button) You like my bagel?

Me No Feel Smart?

2008-08-21T11:30:00.003-04:00

Do you ever feel like everyone around you knows SO much more than you do? Lately I've encountered that bit of paranoia. It isn't that I don't feel intelligent, but I think I have just come to this realization of things that I know nothing about, particularly when it comes to history. I really know nothing about the Roman Empire, World War I, and honestly, I don't know a great deal about American History. History is just one part of it too, I wish I knew some general knowledge about... EVERYTHING. Little facts about science, and the way things work, engineering, art history, architecture, and I guess even math. Maybe I should try reading?

I think that a big flaw with higher education is, once you move beyond the few core requirements of math and science and history, you focus on your major. If you're a journalism/production major, then learning more about all of those other things falls on your shoulders!... my shoulders!

Luckily I own this book:
If anyone owns this and has read it, let me know if it's just a novelty, or if it is actually worth glancing at.

I own a bunch of history books though, and I want to read them, but anytime I look at them with the intent to read and inwardly digest their knowledge I go, "hmm... reminds me of a text book...school...yuck!" SCHOOL IS LEARNING! I need to embrace the concept of being self-taught, and well-read! It's not like I don't have the time, I mean... a journalism major?... come on. I have time. So, I shall read these non-fiction thingy things, and hopefully soon, I can say things like, "oh well The Republic became enormously rich on the spoils of empire..."

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Entering: Davis Square

2008-08-20T15:05:00.006-04:00

The apartment saga/crisis is OVER! Last weekend, my dear friend and co-worker, Rewan, offered me a room in her 4 bed room apartment in the lovely, Davis Square. When she asked me, I literally squealed with excitement, and for those of you that know me, I RARELY squeal... Anyway, I was shocked, so couldn't give her a final yes until I talked to my financial advisors... parents. The rents said go for it, so I did! I'm so glad that I get to live on a subway line... well not literally, but you know what I mean. I'll be close to almost all of my friends in Central Square, and Rewan is really great! This is Rewan in my current kitchen eating food I cooked!
Rewan and I now work together at a store in the North End, so I will still have reason to return to my all time favorite neighborhood. It's a very girly store, but pays very well, so mock me all you want, but Ima be rollin' in bills y'all!...ehem, excuse me.

The one catch is, I might not get to see the apartment before I move in. There's a chance I can see it tomorrow, but who knows??? Apparently, "it's very cute," according to Rewan, however, I have learned through apartment hunting experience, that 'cute' usually means tiny. Like me... I'm cute and tiny.......

She actually described a very large apartment: 2 floors, moderately large bed rooms, dining room, living room, large kitchen... you know, an apartment. I think I'm most excited for having stairs in my apartment. We're going to turn the dining room into a multi-purpose room/office/photo studio! Oh youth and their art.

I have no idea what Magpie is other than an adorable word, so I just chose the first map with Davis.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Nick Wilson

2008-08-15T14:44:00.007-04:00

This is Nick. Nick was my very first friend here, and we met during auditions for Seriously Bent our Freshmen year. For some reason, out of everyone from the audition, he singled me out, and we became very fast friends. I of course thought he was gay, as most do, but he had a girlfriend, and was just looking for a friend in the big city. Nick and I spent a lot of time together our freshmen year... like... A LOT of time. He could often be found sleeping on the couch of my Chester Street apartment after a night of drinking vodka and spooning. I'm sure my roommate was confused, but he was literally my only and best friend, as I was a commuter, didn't have Seriously Bent yet, and didn't spend a lot of time on the Suffolk campus. On Halloween we tried to go to a cigar bar in the North End, but you had to be 21, because they require that you order a drink. So it was a big show, Nick didn't have ANY I.D. so we took a cab back to the dorms, where he got his underage ID, only to then be asked to leave. To this day, I don't understand why that waitress didn't initially deny us when I showed her my ID. Anyway, we bought a couple cigars, and smoked them on Hanover and thought we were on top of the world.

For the last 2 years Nick and I have "shared" an apartment together. I put the quotes on shared because really he lives with his lover, and I have had our apartment to myself until recently. The 2 of us of grown immensely... well maybe more me than him... and not in a physical way. I'm not making sense....um we've matured. Moving on, I'm now on Seriously Bent with him, and actually have more than 1 friend, which is great, because him and I sort of drifted apart. However, there will always be a bond between the two of us that's different from any of my other friends here.

For example, he was the first person that I told I was gay. I had only know him a few months, and I have friends that I've known, basically my entire life, and I shared with him this major detail of my life, that really no one knew. He was the first friend I have ever had that I felt I could confide in, and be completely honest with, without fear of judgment. Of course, over the years he's become more of a d-bag, but...we had one good year!

This is Nick molesting his own girlfriend:

I also love him for his grandparents. Their names are Ed and Jean. They are SPECTACULAR. I have never met such warm, inviting, caring, loving, and funny people. They make me feel as if I'm family, and I actually do think of them as family. We went to dinner at Bricco one night, and it was very expensive, but none of us liked the food. Anyway, while looking at the menu I noticed some steak dish that was $85, so I said, $85? Does a hooker come with that? Ed laughed SO hard, I mean he has an enormous laugh to begin with, but he cracked up, and when Gramma Jean returned to the table she said she could hear him all the way in the back of the restaurant. Ugh, I adore them.

Why am I talking so much about Nick? Well, he turned 21 the other day, FINALLY, and the occasion brought back all the memories that I have with him. Going to the Cape in the winter and trying to smoke cigars on the beach after seeing the Nutcracker with his grandparents... SO GAY. Going to my first show at Improv Asylum. Having Christina brought into my life. Going to my first college party at Julia's and then leaving because a bloody fight broke out, but it was fine, because we had Dan as a body guard. Smoking for the first time!

So many firsts with Nick. He's also the best kiss I've ever had... what? I'm just saying. After the year that I have had with losing a dear friend from home, I have learned to cherish the friends I am closest with, so through all the pompasity that is Nick Wilson, he is, and will always remain, one of my closest friends.

Happy birthday Nick.

Arrivederci North End

2008-08-13T11:10:00.002-04:00

I've lived in the North End for 2 years, and in 2 weeks, I will move. This saddens me more than you know, because for the first time, I became really connected with my neighborhood. Freshmen year I lived in Allston, and there's nothing to connect with there except homeless ninjas with no teeth who communicate by grunting. Not my crowd. The North End is just so wonderful, it will always be my favorite neighborhood in the city. Beacon Hill is quaint, but can be a bit pretentious, South End is well manicured and rather gay, but again, a little snobby, the North End just has SO much, and remains comfortable and welcoming. I think I'm also rather partial to the Italian way of life, or at least the American version of the Italian way of life. Although the neighborhood is now mostly Suffolk students and young professionals, you can still hear the natives speaking Italian and enjoying an espresso on the street in their lawn chairs. It's also still a real community of people that know each other. I know Bobby, the owner of Polcari's, we greet each other on a first name basis, and it's wonderful. I buy my coffee and my herbs from him when I make sauce, and yesterday, when I told him I was moving, he was genuinely a bit sad to hear that. He knows that I'm not just another student invading the neighborhood creating tom foolery. I appreciate the neighborhood and its rich history and culture. In fact, I did a documentary on the businesses on Salem street, one of which was Polcari's, and Bobby was SO happy to be a part of it. He started working at that store when he was a kid, and Mr. Polcari told him if he stuck with him, one day the store would be his, and that came true just a month before I shot the documentary. As I paid for my tin of tea, bulbs of garlic, and small bags of dried herbs (which always look like weed) he shook my hand and wished me all the best in my future. I will miss that, and the food, and the festivals, and Modern Pastry, and running around the waterfront, and the narrow one way streets, and the candlelight dinners from my red kitchen.

Thanks North End for a great 2 years, and don't you worry, I will be back!

Live From Studio 73

2008-08-11T18:45:00.004-04:00

So last Thursday I hosted a late night style talk show! I loved every F'ing minute of it, mainly because that is my dream job. I want to be Conan. I want the height, the hair, and the flat face. The show was the final production in a 6 week TV production course. During a pre-production meeting we were assigning roles, and when our producer asked who would host, no one volunteered, and I didn't volunteer because I didn't want to be "that guy"... whoever that guy is... um but I WANTED TO HOST SO BAD, so luckily Gustave volunteered me. Of course as the host that didn't mean that I didn't do anything for the production itself. I had to write the show, help design lighting, I had to shoot outside footage for roll-ins, and I had to recruit some extra talent (Wilheim).

I don't mean to be an ass, but I really really like the way I look behind that desk, and I can't explain to you how much fun I had. Every night I watch Late Night with Conan, and in my head I hear, IT'S LATE NIGHT WITH NICK MANDELLA! ...oh dreams...

Wilheim came in as our announcer/field reporter where he talked to random people on the streets of the North End... sound familiar?...including an old woman selling hot dogs smoking an 8 inch cigarette, a young man with bad teeth from Malaysia, and some pubescent hooligans that knew where to buy coke in high school. So that was fun! I felt sort of like a jerk, because the first couple people he talked to were boring and not very funny. So I went up to him and was like, um, so can you be funny? Remember? You used to do this all the time and you were um... funny! He warmed up, and brought the humor, I wasn't worried.

The show turned out to be about 30 minutes long, and that includes the commercials we shot in the class, which bt-dubs, I was in 75% of them, so this was really the Nick Show.... and I'm fine with that. All in all, I think the shoot went very smoothly, aside from some initial technical difficulties. I hope to post the video of the show soon, if I ever get my hands on it, or if it ends up online. Also, I have a fun idea for a podcast, and will hopefully get that up in the next week. That's right... soon you'll see a live blog from yours truly!

Bye Bye Jodie and Bobby!

2008-08-08T12:58:00.006-04:00

Tuesday night I organized a going away party for my 2 friends/colleagues, Bobby and Jodie. The venue, The Beehive. Such a great place, such great short rib grilled cheeses, and such odd absinthe cocktails! That's right, I said absinthe, relax I didn't hallucinate, however, it did give me one of the biggest buzzes I've ever had despite it's hideous flavor of black licorice. It was SUCH a successful evening, as practically EVERYONE from the box office showed up, both new and old. When Kathleen arrived, she was waiting in line outside, so I ran out and waved her in, and the bouncer stopped us and allowed two people in before us. He then asked me, rather sarcastically, if I was a manager or owner of the place since I kept letting people in. Look, just because you're black and the width of 2 of me, doesn't mean you can be a jerk to me! Alright, I was a little frightened, but even more so embarrassed. Anyway, we got her in, and by the time EVERYONE showed up, there wasn't enough chairs. So we cramped together, Kat-rina and I were engaged for the evening which involved her sitting with her arm around me. Then people started to trickle out and more room became available.

I love love love going out with these people. Particularly the group that was in attendance. They're very fun people, and how great is it to drink with people that hold hiring/firing power over you?! I was just really glad to give Jodie and Bobby a send off that they deserve. I will miss them tremendously, and with their departure, I am now one of the senior box officers. That of course doesn't mean anything other than I look INCREDIBLY stupid if I make a mistake, so I guess no more drinking on the job! Kidding. Am I? Yes?

At 12:35 Derrick and I decided it would be wise to try to catch the train back to Haymarket. Now, for anyone that is not familiar with the local subway system here, trains stop running at about 12:35. So we got to the station, and of course the last train had already come and gone. Now I have to also explain that this isn't as grand of a dilemma for me, as it was Derrick. Derrick does not live IN the city, as I do, so he couldn't walk home, as I did. So I said, Hey Derrick, let's walk to Haymarket and just see what happens. And he said, "Ok Nick". So we walked past Copley, down Newbury, through the Public Gardens, through a natural tree archway which both Derrick and I decided to have our weddings under, up through Beacon Hill, and finally down towards the North End. It was at this point that Derrick made the decision to crash at my place since he had no way of getting back to his ferret in Everett. RHYMES! This is Derrick and his ferret:

Before we got to my place we had to pick up some diet gingerale for Jeremy who was apparently incapable of walking around the corner to the 7-11 by himself. We got to my place, Derrick was awestruck by the cuteness of my neighborhood, and my apartment, and Jeremy continued to judge my cluttered lifestyle. Meanwhile he was drinking Pimms and gingerale by himself, so how dare he judge my life decisions?! Derrick then curled up into a fetus position in order to fit on my tiny iKia couch, and drifted off to dream of cake, video games, iPhone applications, and pet rodents.

Good night Derrick! I'll return your belt to you eventually!

GAYME Night

2008-08-08T11:55:00.007-04:00

So just to start, I want to let everyone know how disturbed I was to see this image on the screen when I logged into my blog. Baby 1 is drunk, baby 2 is getting a prostate exam, and baby 3 is from Rt, 1 Saugus (fake orange tan). I didn't even want to read the reason for this picture, it freaked me out so much. I mean, could they have found newborns in any creepier positions than these?!

Ok, we'll begin the new entry... NOW
Sunday night, after saying "Bye Bye Justin!" I went to a game night hosted by an HTC co-worker. His apartment was lovely, and his friends were amusing and easy to get along with. It was nice to meet new people. We played a new version of the game Cranium, which I LOVE. I was first introduced to the game by Jared when we played at El, Al, and Anne's. This new version allows you to choose the medium in which you give clues to your teammates. I brought cupcakes from Lulu's to Gayme night, and they were a hit. Josh was particularly intrigued by the red velvet cupcakes. When he asked me what the flavor was, all I could say was... they just tasted like red, and Heaven. Derrick has a ferret named Lola, and she loved my plastic bags. I would have been more fond of her if she didn't have an unpleasant odor.

After Cranium we played a questions game, where we each wrote 3 questions that could have many answers, and placed them in a cup. Then each person picks a random question, we all write down our answer, and the answers are read aloud, and the person that asked the question has to guess which answer goes with which person. Confused? So was I, but I figured it out rather quickly... I mean... I go to Suffolk! One of the questions was "What is the title of your favorite porno film"? I answered "Titanic Wang", but apparently my 'A' looked like an 'O' so Noah read it as Titanic Wong, which just isn't funny. Thanks Noah, thanks for killing my porn pun! Honestly, I didn't know names of porn films, because I generally don't pay attention to the titles!

It was good for me to go out to Everett since I'm going to live there next year.

Oh hey Patty, I'm moving in with you!!!

P.S. Thanks for Gayme Night Derrick! I like word play puns!

P.P.S. ...nothing

"You're a Judgemental F@!$"

2008-08-06T17:04:00.003-04:00

Hello again! Did you all miss me?? I haven't gone anywhere, I've just been in non-writing mode for a few days. My life has been moderately eventful since I last posted. I'm sure you were all wondering what I had in store for myself last weekend as I had mentioned how excited I was. (That's Justin and I from a dance in high school) WELL, allow me to satisfy your hunger for knowledge of my life:

Friday Day: I was in, quite possibly the greatest mood I have EVER been in at work... and I've worked there for over a year. A lot of it had to do with the knowledge that I was going to spend the weekend with one of my best friends from high school, and we were kicking off our weekend with a Red Sox game! The other part of my good mood had to do with a new bond that really began to take shape with a colleague at work. So that was nice.

Friday Evening: Red Sox game, which bt-dubs, my mom ended up being at, so that was random and fun. The game was intense as it went into extra innings, though Justin and I left after the bottom of the 11th in order to party. So first went to a highlighter party at an Allston apartment, thrown by Justin's roommate from PC. This party consisted of 65 muscley jock like 18-20 year old man-boys. So even though I knew no one, and felt a lot out of place, there was a nice view. Following the dude-guy show, we hiked across Harvard Ave to Brighton to attend Trevor's birthday party. Here I was subject to a gay-off between myself and Clarence. Despite the fact that I was wearing a Red Sox T-shirt, and am, in general, not-fem, I lost, and was proclaimed gayer.

Saturday "Morning": Breakfast at Theo's with Justin

Saturday Afternoon: We walked around aimlessly through Boston. Visited Christina at her paper store where she oogled Justin's new muscles. After leaving the store, Justin called me a judgemental f@!$ as I complained about a woman that came into the store and returned some paper to Christina. He doesn't know the half of my judgeypants. I'll admit that I've grown a bit juegemental and cynical since I've lived here. Deal with it. Then we went back to the North End and ate gelato and watched a big ass thunder and lightning storm and talked to mom and daughter from San Francisco. The gelato apparently contained no butter fat, which meant no heavy cream, or egg yolks, and this confused me. Then Justin and I parted for a few hours while I worked at my new job. He went to a cafe and drank for 4 hours, so when we met back up to go to the Asylum, he was good and drunk.

Saturday Night: Drinks at Cafe Paradiso followed by the Midnight Show followed by Patty's farewell party, as it was her last night working. She wheeled her way around the stage during the midnight show, didn't really get to play like she wanted to, but only because she was physically challenged.

Sunday "Morning": Bye bye Justin!

So Let's Talk About Christmas

2008-08-01T16:47:00.004-04:00

Last night I attended a performance of Sondheim's black comedy musical, Assassins. One of my managers, Penny, was in the show, so I was looking forward to seeing her perform, especially since I told her that I strongly disliked musicals. Now, the majority of her theatrical career is dedicated to... that's right, musical theatre. So I basically told her I hate her career... again, I have no filter. It's ok though, because she hasn't let me forget that. When I told her I had planned on seeing this show, she said, "Oh good, you'll like it, because there's guns, and killing, and swears, and it's dark, and not so musically." Anyway, I really did enjoy the show, it was very smart, and Penny was delightful.

Afterwards, Dahlia (my "date") and Penny and I went to Delux for a drink. I LOVE drinking with my co-workers. Penny bought our first round, and we discussed love, life, and Christmas trees. Delux has a year round plastic Christmas tree on their bar, so after we finished discussing the rather dark topic of young death, Penny gave the great non sequitur of, sooo how about Christmas?! It was amusing. I just enjoy going outside of the office with co-workers.

We're listening to Mama Mia right now. Everyone gets this joke except for me!

I'm going to the Red Sox game tonight with Justin!

Dahlia keeps making, your mom was...last night jokes. I like her!

iHeight

2008-07-29T17:40:00.003-04:00

I shot this for a commercial for a Studio TV Production class, and thought it stood on its own as a fun little short.

Starring:
Deirdre McAllister
Dan Weidknecht
and Me!

Directed By: Me
Camera: Alicia Farrington

The Epic Wedding

2008-07-28T10:41:00.006-04:00

This past weekend, I attended the wedding of 2 complete strangers. That's right, I sort of crashed a wedding. By sort of, I mean I was invited to attend by one of the bride's maids, and by bride's maid, I mean she was the bride's servant/slave/bonded follower. That bride's slave was none other than???... you probably guessed it... Patty. Patty invited me to be her Plus One many weeks ago, and I gladly accepted because hey, free weekend getaway, BBQ, booze, brunch...alliteration! Then of course other things were thrown at me like, Red Sox vs Yankees tickets and North End Italian festivals, BUT, I am an adult, and I had prior commitments. So I made it down to Rhode Island Friday afternoon by way of commuter rail, and I have this common theme of having to take cabs to South Station, because I tend to never leave my apartment on time.

Anyway, Friday was the BBQ consisting of gross cheese burgers, charred weiners, fly swarming fruit, and field day games. There was however, pie and badminton, and those 2 things make all sorrows dissipate. I stuffed my face with weiners and pie, and then schooled Patty in the great game of badminton. Patty was a hot mess at this point. I think she was more stressed by getting lost in the tragedy that is the Rhode Island freeway system, so adding the intensity of my badminton skills didn't help in calming her down.

We checked into the lovely Marriot-Downtown Providence, and then went to dinner in the hotel restaurant. We were then served by the saddest waitress EVER. She greeted our table like she was sedated, and then the Maitre D gave her a little talking to, and then she started to cry. It was very awkward when we had to remind her that we had ordered wine. Anyway, we enjoyed our dinner, and at this point Patty was so exhausted I was basically making conversation with the booth. We retired to our shared king sized bed, and I couldn't sleep so I listened to my new favorite podcast, Savage Love.

Dee dum dee dum Dee dum dee dum. Wedding Day! Saturday found me on my own again as Patty had to meet the other bride slaves at 6:45 AM for nails and hair and other last minute polishings. So I went for a swim, ordered room service, watched The Office on Patty's computer, and then headed out to find the quaint little 18th century home where the ceremony would take place. Here it is:
It's called Linden Place, and I believe it was built in like 1777. Anyway, it was old, and beautiful, and had a nice garden, and I love 18th century New England homes, and according to Patty, the film version of The Great Gatsby was filmed there. SO...yeah

The ceremony was short and sweet, both literally and figuratively as they performed this blending of honey ritual that was really cool, and I was impressed by it until I found out that they just searched wedding traditions, and that popped up. Still though, how original?! And then there was the reception and they served filet mignon and delish champagne and Patty and I danced until we fell on top of each other! Oh, and Norm cut in while Patty and I were slow dancing, and danced with me. It was funny. To quote him, "I've never had the opportunity to dance with a young man." Oh improv. It was fun to just hang out, and have a few drinks with new IA people... well not NEW IA people, I mean IA people that I've never really been around OUTSIDE of the theatre.

I started to think about my own wedding, if I am to ever marry. I just like the idea of a whole day... or in this case weekend... dedicated to me, and my husband to be. When I watched Nael (groom) dance with his elegant French mother, I got a little emotional, knowing that my mom has already chosen the song she wants us to dance to, Fly Me To The Mooon by Frank Sinatra. I want an open bar, because people are more inclined to have fun once they've had a couple drinks, plus I don't want people to think that I'm cheap. And I want a happy medium between formal and casual. I don't want people to be uncomfortable, or feel like they need to act differently because they're at a wedding. I also don't want idiots ruining my wedding... so I just won't invite Mitch. KIDDING MITCH! I think I'll have Mitch get ordained to perform the ceremony, and it will be all be in a rap. Wouldn't he make a great minister at a gay wedding:

I have a very fun weekend coming up! More on that once my shoulder stops cracking as I type.

The Apartment Blues

2008-07-23T13:28:00.002-04:00

Take a good look people, because that may very well be me next year. It's July, and I still do not have roommates, or an apartment to live in next year. Well, technically, I have a quaint home in Everett with Patty as my backup, but I just don't understand how I'm in this general situation. Although Patty's place is great and cheap, it is in Everett, and no one will come to visit us because you have to take a train and a bus. SO, I'm trying very hard to somehow find a place in the Davis, Porter, or Central Square area. That way I can remain close to everyone, and I'll only need to use one mode of public transportation. I actually responded to some ADs on Craigslist in the hope that I can find my dream room/apartment/roommates.

I've never felt such panic about my living situation. I mean, this process has literally consumed my entire being. For the last 3 years, I have ALWAYS had a place all set to go by no later than June. This year, all of the people that I had plans to live with, bailed on me. Bailed is a harsh word to use, but, I'm stuck, and they're all set, so, I have a little right to be harsh.

Thankfully, I do have Patty as my backup. So, I won't really be sleeping in a bag on Tremont Street. What would you do if you walked out of Park Street and saw me on the street in a bag... sleeping? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!

Boston, Reign O'er Me

2008-07-20T15:24:00.002-04:00

It is raining SO HARD! I'm sitting in my kitchen observing the sky that falls over Old North Church, and then in the distance, downtown Boston. I adore thunderstorms. Lately we've had a lot of little squalls and they've just been wimpy. Today we're getting a good one though. I just counted 6 big streaks of lightning, and the thunder sounds as if someone is bombing the city. I particularly enjoy Sunday thunderstorms, because I generally don't have anything to do on Sunday, so I love to just sit in my apartment during the storm, and read, or blog, or talk to people who are also experiencing the storm, and I like to go, "OH man, did you hear that?! or did you SEE that ?! IT'S REALLY COMING DOWN"

Thunderstorms remind me of my childhood summers. Before my mom built the sun room on the deck, we used to have this unstable screen house, and my favorite thing about it was sitting in it during a big thunderstorm with my parents and brother. You basically were outside in the middle of the storm, but had a canvas roof above your head. The roof used to collect water, so we would take a broom and push the water off, that was my favorite job. Anyway, we would sit out there, eat blueberry buckle, drink tea, play Parchesi. and count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder. I miss home, and my childhood.

I think severe weather in cities is an odd concept, for some reason. I just always associate thunderstorms, and snow storms with my little town. The suburbs. Cities are just supposed to have the same weather... right?... Am I nuts?!

The storm's over, for now. And so is this post.

On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spent apart alone
I need to get back home
To cool cool rain

I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The night is hot and black as ink
Woo Oh God I need a drink
Of cool cool rain

What Happened To My Filter?

2008-07-20T11:56:00.002-04:00

This is Stefanie. Stefanie USED to be my "boss". She left her managerial position, and is now back, but only as a lowly part-timer. Last night I worked a late night shift with her and Derrick, and we were having a very pleasant evening. The 2 shows we had to ticket for were both in the small plaza theatre, so walk-up was rather light. Oooo, we did a wait-list, but only the first pair on the list got in, and both Stefanie and Derrick were scared to announce that everyone else couldn't get squat, so I did it, it was fun! I mean, I felt bad that the people waiting didn't get tickets, but I enjoyed that brief amount of authority and power, because generally, the patrons get to treat us like we're not human.

ANYGAY, the evening was coming to a close when Stefanie mentioned the spacers that had recently been placed in between her teeth, hurt when she ate. That's when everything turned sour. I, with all of my infinite wisdom and intuition, respond by saying, "I think one of the funniest looking things EVER, is an adult wearing braces." Stefanie then laughed, and started to cry. I asked if she was crying from laughter, or was for realzies crying. She was for realzies crying. I made her cry. I took a wildly sensitive topic and just ripped it wide open. I felt like a douche. For some reason, I was unable to put 2 and 2 together to realize that she was going to have braces put on. SO, way to go me, I made a 23 year old woman cry. My former boss, and good friend, actually. I wanted to crawl into a hole.

SORRY STEF !

Irish Times

2008-07-18T11:41:00.004-04:00

Monday night I went to The Burren in Davis Square for my manager's birthday. The female on my right is not my manager. That's Vawnya and we used to be box office arch nemesises... It was very random, and I felt just a TAD awkward considering I was going out drinking with... all of my managers. That's right, I have like 14 managers. They're all great though!... for the most part. Anyway, what excited me about this event was the location. The Burren is an Irish Pub named after an ancient geological site in... the Galway region of Ireland, which is where my mother's family is from, and it's a place that I have been. Here, I'll show you!

That's the Portal Tomb, located in The Burren. I took that. Don't believe me???... has anyone reading this been to Ireland, no.

Anyway, my cousin Geraldine (Irish cousin), played a gig at The Burren (Somerville) like 10 years ago. My grandparents always ask me if I've been, and I always tell them yes, because I want them to like me!... haha, they're my grandparents, what the hell am I talking about? So when we got there, I told the gang that my cousin came over from Ireland and played a gig there. They weren't impressed. THEN, I saw posters on the walls from Inishbofin, which is the tiny little island that my great-grandmother came from! NUTS... again, they weren't impressed, they had their drinkin' pants on. At about 9 some live Irish music started playing, and I loved it. The Black Rose in Faneuil Hall is also a great Irish Pub with live Irish music every night. No one ever wants to go with me. They're all D-bags... ugh, let's go to Goody's... FUCK GOODY'S!. I'm sorry, but I'm so frigon sick of going to the same bar, where I see the same people spending literally all of their time and money there. It's sad. Not me or my friends, we have outside lives. But there are clients of this bar, that basically do nothing but go to Goody's every frigon night. And they start early. I know I just started 4 sentences with and or but, it's my blog, I do what I want!

Anyway, I love Irish pubs with live Irish music, because I love the sounds, and it reminds me of going to Ireland. And I love drinking with my employers.

Who wants to go to an Irish pub with me?!

VH1 Rock Honors: THE WHO

2008-07-18T11:20:00.002-04:00

Ok this is the LAST post about The Who... for a little while. Here are a couple of performances from the concert:

PEARL JAM: "Love Reign O'er Me"

THE WHO: "Who Are You"

THE WHO: "My Generation"

Nothing But Endless Wire

2008-07-15T11:36:00.005-04:00

Well I had a pleasant weekend. Ok, so that's a bit of an understatement... I had an absolutely, unbelievable, earth-shattering, mind-blowing, weekend! ! ! I attended VH1 Rock Honors: The Who! How on Earth did that happen Nick? I will tell you:

Wednesday night i met up with my high school English teacher for dinner and a pint at The Black Rose, which is now the one and only bar I will go to in Faneuil Hall. He played the first song by The Who I had ever heard, The Kids Are Alright, and from then on I was hooked on the band. Anyway, during dinner he mentioned that he was going to L.A. to attend the concert. I of course, went nuts, because not only was he seeing the show, but he was also attending a pre-show reception where it was rumored that members of the band would be in attendance. So after seeing my excitement he goes, "well what are you doing this weekend. There's a woman on the website selling a ticket, and she's legit,". My reaction was something like, what? shut up, stop it, no, I can't, I'm broke, and so on and so on. After he headed back home, I went to IA and met up with Nick, Dan, and Trev, and we went to our usual place of business, Goody's. After a couple of rounds, I began consulting them on what I should do. They of course all agreed that I would hate myself if I turned down this opportunity. The next day, I texted Pete and said that I would take the ticket if it was still available.

I then spent the rest of the day on cloud 29 until, he called and said he couldn't get in touch with the seller. He said she wasn't responding to his emails, or his calls, and that it appeared as if she had sold the ticket, and that I was out of luck. BLURG!... so I went to Talia's and she had refreshments that helped take my mind off of the suspense. Then at about 11:45 P.M. he calls and says, "Nick, if you still want the ticket, it's yours. Book a flight,". OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I immediately booked my flight to L.A.

This was the first performance of The Who I saw, on television, that hooked me:

This is also a performance with one member gone, Keith Moon, who died in 1978 from an overdose.

Anyway, I was off to L.A. I met Pete at the airport and his cousin picked us up. Tim is tall, wide, loud, Irish, and very funny. He took us to a bar and we had a few rounds, played a couple games of pool, and then stumbled out. I collapsed on an air mattress, and when I woke, Tim's wife was playing The Who on a cassette player! I was surrounded by Who-heads (as Jeremy once called me) and I could not have been happier. That day we spent picking up other members from the website, one of which, nicknamed CrazyHorse, was literally bat-shit crazy. His first topic of conversation, to a group of people he's really never met, was about the hooker he "almost broke" the night before. Very inappropes. We pick up one more Whooligan, and then went to Santa Monica Beach for about 30 seconds.

Next was the pre-show reception. Remember the rumor I told you about? Well, at 5 a guy comes to my table and explains to my group that a special guest was coming at 5:30, and that we were to not take pictures, ask for autographs, or bother this person at all in general. So I start to lose my mind. The admins from the website start giving speeches, and then suddenly they stop, I turn to look at the entrance, and there stands Pete Townshend. Song writer, and lead guitarist of The Who. A.K.A GOD ! This is the man behind blue eyes, creator of Tommy at age 21! AND HE WAS 7 INCHES AWAY FROM ME! Talk about a great way to get someone pumped for a Who concert. Ugh... it was so surreal.

After that enormous bonus, we headed to the Pauley Pavilion where I had a fantastic seat, 10 rows from the stage, on the floor. The concert included performances by Foo Fighters, Flaming Lips, Incubus, Tenacious D, and Pearl Jam. Foo Fighters covered Young Man Blues and Bargain. Flaming Lips did a great medley from Tommy. Incubus performed I Can See For Miles and I Can't Explain. Tenacious D, a last minute addition to the roster, performed Squeeze Box acoustically. It was Pearl Jam that really blew me away though. They performed Love, Reign O'er Me and The Real Me, from the album Quadrophenia. They had a small string section, and their performance contained so much passion, it was clear that they were the proudest to be at this event honoring the greatest rock band to ever live.

Finally The Who were introduced by Adam Sandler performing a parody of Magic Bus. Pete and Roger were on their game aside from some sound issues with their monitors. They performed Baba O'Riley, The Seeker, Who Are You, Behind Blue Eyes, 2000 Years, You Better You Bet, My Generation, Won't Get Fooled Again, and finally, Tea and Theatre. The Seeker will probably end up cut from the broadcast since Roger missed some lyrics. I could not believe how close I was to the band, and I was a happy little 21 year old Who fan sporting a green Who T-shirt worn under the classic black blazer.

After the euphoria of the concert and sort of meeting Pete Townshend, we went to an after party at The W hotel bar. We got to cut the long line, walk in with our VIP badges, AND drinks were free. So I had a couple $13 cocktails, and just soaked in this amazing, bizarre, spontaneous weekend.

Everyone that I met at the concert had either seen the band perform with Keith Moon, or at least with the late John Entwistle (bass). John died in 2002, and I saw The Who for the first time, live, in 2003. So my appreciation for Keith and John comes only from videos in documentaries. Although The Who only have Pete and Roger left, and they're both in their early 60's, they still rock like teenagers. The power of their music will never be quiet, no matter how old they get. If anything, it will get louder, since they can barely hear it to begin with.

Townshend brought rock and roll to such a higher intellectual level, and the way The Who interpreted his writing was nothing short of an explosive sound. The music has meant so much to me, particularly in my formidable years where I was really figuring out who I was, what I wanted, and what might make me happy. If you ever want some of their music, just ask, because I am always overly excited to recruit. Last night I gave Jeremy a few CDs, and then tried to hand him the documentary, The Kids Are Alright, and he pulled his hand away, and said, alright alright alright, that's enough. HA... anyway

I'll end this blog with a video of Tea and Theatre. A song from their new album Endless Wire. Pete and Roger now perform this song, acoustically, as the finale to their shows. It's their own tribute to 40 years of brilliance. Enjoy!

Come Ova, I'm Makin' Dinnuh

2008-07-07T10:18:00.003-04:00

As a partial Italian, I grew up with a grand amount of importance placed on something called, "Sunday Dinner." The picture above, is an old photograph of my family engaging in this loving tradition. We were Asian at one time...

Anyway, for a while I used to get annoyed by this Sunday ritual, particularly when I was a teenager, and hated everything having to do with family. Hey, it's just what every teen goes through. I wanted to go to the mall to hang out!... because that's literally all you do as a high schooler. At least that's all you CAN do as a high schooler, at least in my little town.

Well, once I flew the coop, I began to long for those dinners. I missed being surrounded by people that loved me, and each other-(ish). I missed the comforting home cooked meals, that were always enormous, no matter how few people actually attended. So, I started to make Sunday dinners for my friends. Granted, they weren't ALWAYS on Sundays, but still. Last night I had an impromptu Sunday dinner. I just shot out a text, and people arrived. Kelly came with her "wife" Deirdre, and it was Deirdre's first time! She's a vegetarian, so that would be why I rarely get to invite her, but since I had black bean rice and salad caprese, she had PLENTY to mangia. After dinner we watched an episode of... Anorexia Intervention... or something, on A&E. It was nice and depressing. Thank you Nick Wilson. PAY YOUR RENT!

I love doing that for my friends, because since I've moved, my friends have become my family, I think I've said that before. They are the people that I love and trust, and I love surrounding myself with them, showing them my love, with food and drink. My only hope is that this little tradition can continue after I move out to Everett. I'm sure that since I cook so damn well, they just won't stay away! Oh, and I like to think I keep 'em comin' with my charmin' personality.

2008-07-05T11:12:00.000-04:00

I think I'm going away for a little while...

Mega Weekend

2008-07-02T10:30:00.017-04:00

I went to New York City this past weekend, and it was, once again, PHENOMENAL! First off, instead of risking my life and taking a China Town bus, I embarked on my adventure on the new Mega Bus (seen below). The Mega Bus is a... fairly? new bus that takes to you to Penn Station, AND it's cheaper than the Fung, AND it's clean and big, AND it's mostly young people. Not middle schoolers on field trips, but like, young professionals. So the bus was great. Here it is! :

MEGA BUS!...Once I got to Penn Station I called Glenn, because he goes the New School, and loves the city, so I thought I'd let him know I was there. This was sort of how the conversation went:

ME:
Glenn
GLENN:
Nick
ME:
Guess where I am right now.
GLENN:
Kelly's Roast Beef
ME:
No you ass clown, I'm in Manhattan, standing next to Madison Square Garden
GLENN:
Ooooooohhhhh no fuckin' way! Man, I love New York City. I'm in Long Island right now.

Then I asked him how to get to the L train so I could meet my friend Evan's roommates in Brooklyn. So, I got on the subway and begin the next leg of my journey into Brooklyn. I had never been to Brooklyn, so I didn't know what to expect. When I got there, I was pretty surprised, then frightened, then observant. I stood outside of the Myrtle-Wykoff station for 45 minutes, and I was literally the only white person I saw in that time span. I won't lie, I was uncomfortable. I stood out like a nun in a brothel. Like a CEO at Building 19. Like a clown in a porn film. I stood out. I walked back into the station to wait, one because it was really hot out, and 2 I was afraid that if I stood out there any longer I'd be beaten with sticks...or a liquor bottle in a brown paper bag. I saw 4 people with those. So, I went back inside to wait for Paul, and I had no idea what Paul looked like, but in this neighborhood, I had a good feeling I'd be able to pick him out. So, I wait, and wait... and wait a bit more, when finally this dynamic duo walks right past me:

Yes, they're white, gay, and proud of it. Chris, on the left, had a very short bathing suit on, so I immediately saw that and said in my mind, "You're missing half of your bathing suit, this must be them!" They walk back into the station and Paul introduced himself and Chris. From there we walked to their apartment through possibly the most frightening neighborhood I have ever been in. I'm sorry if I've sounded racist, but listen, I live in a predominantly white neighborhood, in a predominantly white part of Boston, I go to a predominantly white college, and I grew up in a predominantly white town. How many times did I just use the word predominantly?...4. So-yeah. They're street was cute, and their apartment was HUGE, it was literally a house. They had 2 floors, 2 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, and big bedrooms; great apartment, but shady ass neighborhood.

I dropped my bag off in Paul's room and then he made me eggs with salsa and avocado corn chips. It was odd, but food, so I ate it. Then we proceeded to "pre-game", as the kids call it, which consisted of drinking Pepsi and rum, and then when the Pepsi ran out, rum and Arizona Iced Tea. THEN, we headed out for a big gay night of big gay bars with big gay drinks and big gayness. Keep in mind that the eggs were all I ate that day, so after my first out-of-apartment-drink, I was pretty much in a pretty happy space. Paul of course was not 21, even though he looks like he's 30, NOT, um so he managed to get into the first bar with a Florida fake which he had this whole background story created in case he was interrogated. He was SO giddy and excited to have gotten in. It was adorable. He's adorable. We got along really well, and he was easy to talk to. I didn't have to pull teeth to get conversation out of him, which I find to be the usual case.

Anyway, the night went on, and we had a great time. Although towards the end of the night I began to feel a bit uncomfortable as the group got a little larger. I was new to these guys, and couldn't get a read on what I could say that was funny, and I started to feel like they were gettin' judgey and annoyed by me. I don't know, I was drunk! Finally, Paul and I headed back to Brooklyn, and I plopped onto the mattress on his floor, and fell into a nice drunken coma.

DAY 2: Pill popping moms and former transvestites

Sunday I made pancakes for myself and Evan, of which I could only handle 3 bites of thanks to the night before. Then I headed out to my solo day in the city. My plan was to see Steppenwolf's Tony Award Winning play, August: Osage County.

I had heard of it prior to the acclaim by Jeremy, and then my manager Tyler, and then my wife Patty. SO, I saw it. I loved it. I want to see it again. It's hilarious and gut-wrenching at the same time, and new cast is wonderful. I didn't get to see the former cast, but I loved this one. So that was great.

THEN, following August, came the big finale of the weekend. The actual purpose of my trip. Seeing my all time favorite comedian. Eddie Izzard at Radio City Music Hall!

He was an absolute rock star. I just think it's fascinating for a comedian to get to a place in their career where they can sell out a 6,000 seat venue three nights in a row. This is his first tour NOT in transvestite mode, although the picture featured above is from his tranni days. In this show he wears a blazer with coat tails, and jeans, and red pin stripe button down shirt. He was incredibly silly and fun with the audience. This was also my first time seeing a show at Radio City Music Hall, and our seats were wonderful, and I was ever so happy.

Can this post get any longer?!

YOU BET!

... alright, I'll stop. I really did have a great time, and I can't wait to go back!

PHEW...I'm winded

so-yeah...

Go Away

2008-06-26T17:31:00.004-04:00

This is Reeve Aleksandr Pierson. I don't know if that's really how his name is spelled, but it's how he has it on Facebook, so there you go. Reeve is a brat. I sort of work with him at the Huntington, and by sort of, I mean, I don't really. Reeve used to work in the box office, but now he just flitters around the lobby and in the many theatres at the Calderwood Pavilion telling ushers what to do, and selling cheap wine and over priced snacks. Reeve has a superiority complex, or maybe he's just too gay for his own good. I chose this picture because if you look directly into his eyes, it is almost certain that you will turn to stone. Reeve puts on a very cold, snarky, bitchy, judgey facade, however, he's really a... no he is those things.

ACTUALLY, I have had 2 very pleasant and endearing experiences with Reeve. The first took place last summer when Reeve and I were stuck in the tiny basement phone room of the BU Theatre. The very same tiny basement phone room that Bobby Kennedy almost had a nervous breakdown. Anygay (a Reeveism) this day was the day that Reeve just suddenly decided to try to quit smoking. So close quarters + lack of nicotine = weird animal noises? Yes, Reeve proceeded to squawk and squeal and frighten me all day. He kept telling me buy him cigarettes and I refused, because I am a humanitarian, and I wanted to support his 1 day attempt at health.

My next sweet moment with Reeve was in New York City, the Big Apple, the Center of the Universe, the...City That Never Sleeps...I knew I could think of one more. So Reeve just HAPPENED to be there the same weekend that Patty and I were there. So we met up one night for drinks at a posh gay bar called Therapy, and Reeve was already d-r-u-n-k, so Patty and I just talked to Austin. When we left, Reeve decided to take his gin & tonic with him. The next day we met them for a little brunch at a quaint diner style restaurant, where they were both dressed very nicely. Austin, because he had to work, and Reeve, well because Reeve enjoys appearing to be better than everyone. Oh and he's gay. In fact, if Reeve lived on any street in NYC city, he'd live on this one:
So after we dropped Austin off at work Reeve walked around with Patty and I, although he just wanted to go to gay bars, gay bookstores, gay grocery stores, gay pharmacies, gay monuments, and pretty much gay it up to the 9s. Patty and I however were just the average tourists, doing tourist things, and he wanted nothing to do with that. I mean...gayness?...GROSS SIN SODOMITES!...excuse me. It was a very nice time with him though.

Did I mention he was gay?

Alright, I will put a face shot up of him, but DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LOOK INTO HIS LITTLE GAY EYES!

Ready?...

Ok here it is:
It's small enough to avoid his gay stare.

Bobby For President

2008-06-25T16:57:00.004-04:00

See Bobby. See Bobby judge. See Bobby answer phones. See Bobby talk through bullet proof glass...

Alright so I don't have pictures of Bobby doing all of these things. Regardless, this is Bobby. I work with Bobby. Yesterday, at the end of the work day, Bobby said something about shock and hate if he ever saw that I blogged about him. So, naturally, I am. Bobby is a writer. Although I've never read anything he's written, or seen him act, or seen anyone perform his words, I am sure that he is talented. At least he looks like a writer. Bobby graduated from BU this May. He is originally from Chicago, and he is currently there visiting family and getting interviewed for some Chicago jobs. Apparently he doesn't plan to make box officing his life's work. Bobby lives close by to one of my favorite young women, named Kathleen. Kathleen used to work with me, but she left. She's a rock star.

Enough about Kathleen, this is the Bobby Blog. Probably single most interesting thing about Bobby is his name. He's named after a famous politician that was assassinated. Give up?!?!?!... Bobby Kennedy!

What else about Bobby? Oh, his girlfriend loves to fondle his hair. He has a tan over coat for the winter and I referred to it as an Anne Taylor Loft coat... for that I apologize. When we work at 264 he gets angry at the patrons and refers to them with expletives after hanging up his phone. Then he showed me a video of a guy in an office that flipped out and starting breaking things and threw a computer monitor AT a woman and this frightened me because I thought that maybe he would flip in this tiny little room that we work in and I would have no where to run from his wrath.

But I don't think Bobby would do that. Bobby's a good, quiet, funny, judgey, skinny, play-writing man-boy.

ENJOY YOUR TRIP IN CHICAGO BOBBY!

Thank You, and Good Night

2008-06-23T15:15:00.009-04:00

One of my favorite, and most respected comedians of all time, George Carlin, died Sunday evening at the age of 71. This album above was the first album of his I listened to, and there was rarely a moment without stomach crunching laughter. His death was one of those sudden random over night deaths that takes the world by surprise. He apparently went to the hospital with chest pains, and then died of heart failure. George wasn't exactly one to take extra special care of his body, and has struggled with addiction for the past 40ish years. If you've seen any of his most recent shows, he looked a lot older than 71, and his life of addiction shows on his face. I saw him in Boston and was surprised by the morbid theme of his material, but I'm grateful to have seen him live.

Just a few days before he died, I caught one of his old HBO specials, and he was doing a bit about death. He talked about how it's the act of dying that we're afraid of, and that actual death is great because we get to find out what happens after life. He then talked about how a comedian never wants "to die" in front of an audience. Comedians want to "kill em," a good set is referred to as "I killed em tonight." George clearly has never been afraid of death, considering the things that he's done in his life.

As a comedian, he will always be one of my idols, despite the extremely uncomfortable places he started to go towards the end. Although when you think about it, he was just keeping up with the uncomfortable societal topics of the 21st century. Like auto-erotic asphyxiation and not caring about hurricanes and or hurricane victims. His 7 dirty words routine was highly controversial, he was brought up on charges, or something, went to the Supreme Court, and then broke through and became the highest paid stand up of the time because of that industry changing bit. This bit was however, in my opinion, one of his simplest acts. George's observation on human nature went so much deeper than simply saying the 7 words that were not supposed to be said on television. His ability to dissect simple concepts like vaginal farts, to controversial and complex concepts, like religion was uncanny. It was genius. To see someone with the capability to make fun of anything with intelligence and precision is so intimidating, and George had that gift. George also writes out his shows pretty much word for word, which as far as I know, is not something that most stand-ups do. It's certainly not something that I do as a an improviser.

Last night, I dedicated our show to him, and actually had my best performance in this series of orientation shows.

So thank you George for everything you have done.

Thank you, and good night...

Model Rockets and Training Wheels

2008-06-20T14:16:00.004-04:00

That's my grandfather when he was 25 years old...handsome fella, right? Well the other night, I had a dream of all the things my grandfather used to do with me when I was younger. He would take me fishing at Rocky Pond, where I would get SO excited if he would spring for shiners as bait instead of worms, because worms would never catch diddly. He taught me, eventually, how to ride a bike, after several weeks of riding it down the small hill in my yard. Progress included falling, but after having been upright for several more feet each attempt. Finally, something that he did, only with me, was build model rockets. This was the most vivid part of my dream, probably because it was something that I didn't have to share with my brother. Rockets were just for Papa and Nick. Aaaaaawwww.
Yes, that's me... the baby... older guy sleeping is my grandfather. Ok.

I grew up living next to my grandparents, and after my parents divorced, my brother and I spent our days with them while mom put her business pants on and brought home the bacon. So my brother and I, I feel, have the closest bond with them, maybe closer than any of the other grand kids, but that might just be me wanting that. Anyway, the larger part of my childhood was spent with my grandparents, and my grandfather always had a sometimes cruel way with words. He liked to tease, and get under people's skin. Made me cry a couple times, but it was nothing terrible. He was, however, rather cruel to the adults in my family which I later found out as I got older, particularly to my father.

Well, now that he's almost 80, he has become far more cruel and crotchety, but only in person. When I call from here in Boston, or from another country, he's particularly sweet and flattering and complimentary. He tells me how proud he is of me, and even says I love you, at the end of the conversation. This phrase I have never heard him say while I'm standing in front of him.

In person, he has more and more cruel things to say. Far more than I have ever heard him. His newest thing is people's weight. He's ragged on my mom, who is far from over weight, for some time now, but lately it's become over bearing. The last time I was home, he asked ME if I put on weight. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't mean to brag, but I am a size 29. He just seems to think that no matter who it is, weight is always a sensitive subject, so he goes for it. He made this comment at my brother's graduation party, and I was convinced that he did it because no one was really paying attention to him. Regardless, I understand that he's getting older, but I guess these dreams, and thoughts are my desire to have that young and innocent connection with my grandfather again. I think that when I'm with him in person now, he sees me as an adult, and maybe doesn't quite know how to talk to me, and maybe that's him ALSO wishing we could go back to catching small mouth bass, taking training wheels off, and counting down, to launch 1 foot tall rockets.

NO!

2008-06-12T18:15:00.002-04:00

Do you have a minute to save the entire planet?...umm...ONE minute?...no, no I'm sorry I do not. Does this make me a bad person? Where would my cash donation go? If I ever did stop to talk to one of these people something tells me that they wouldn't ask me to help plant trees on Rt. 1. No no no, they are more than likely getting donations for SOME organization that will take 20 minutes to discuss. If I am going to do something for Mama Earth, it will not be giving a sophomore in college a 20. What if he's really just a crack head?! Ok, so he's probably not a crack head, BUT, my contribution to ANY organization is action, not money. Money is too easy, and who knows what it is used for. I recycle. I reuse. And I freakin' reduce. Well... I don't exactly know what I reduce...I guess I try to reduce electricity? Anyway, stop trying to delay me from where I'm going. I have a busy schedule, and I do not have time to listen to a 30 minute lecture that will inevitably result in me having to give money. Ok?! Great.

Embarrassed To Be Lovin' It

2008-06-05T16:30:00.004-04:00

I swear it isn't often, but sometimes I do get an itch to eat McDonald's food. It's usually a craving for their crispy chicken classic sandwich with fries, and now they have authentic sweet tea. So today I had that craving for my lunch while I was at work. I asked my coworker if he would judge me for that decision, I don't know why. I then thought to myself that if I walked past better food options, I would then perhaps lose that craving, and make a better decision. This did not happen. So, I walked into the familiar fast food restaurant on Massachusetts Avenue, and ordered exactly what I was craving. It came with a barrel size cup for the authentic southern sweet iced tea. As I walked down Massachusetts Avenue back to 264 Huntington Avenue, I felt like everyone looked at me, looked at the bag, and judged me. Is that vain? Paranoid? Or just the part of my brain that knows I shouldn't eat McDonald's? Also, the McDonald's really didn't match what I am wearing today. Is that gay? To think that even my food should match my outfit? Yeah? Ok. Well anyway, I couldn't get back to the underground phone room at the BU Theatre fast enough. Once I reached my safe haven, I enjoyed my greasy lunch, and took solace in knowing that I won't crave this food again for quite some time... or until I get drunk.

Oh, and I just recently found out that this man:
named Jeremy B$#@%...will be moving in with me for the remainder of my lease. You might recognize him from Improv Asylum, or Patty Barrett's blog. He was my director, and is currently re-employed by Improv Asylum. My actual roommate, Nick W, moved out sometime ago to live with his lady, but still paid rent at our place. Make sense? No? Well anyway, Jeremy was soon to be homeless, when Nick swooped in to pick him up off the streets, and placed him into my loving and humble apartment. I look forward to the time that we will be "living" together, because Jeremy is funny and considerate and keeps odd mysterious hours. And I know that it will make Patty a little jealous. Jeremy promised me a pie and a 4 bean casserole. He's great.

That's all.

Oh wait! I was also in Italy for the last 2 weeks, but there really isn't much to say about that. It wasn't very pretty, the food was awful, the people were mean/unattractive, and I get all the Italy I need in the North End of Boston.

KIDDING!

Open 24 Hours

2008-05-15T04:58:00.000-04:00

It's 5AM and I find myself wide awake. So, I reach down beside me, I open my Mac, anxiously I sign onto iChat, finding the one and only, Benjamin Rauhala online. I know Ben through my dear friend Christina. She introduced us because she thought I didn't have enough gay friends, but you know what, I don't want gay friends. But Ben is a great friend, and I wish I got to see more of him. So Ben came into the city last summer and we had a little photo shoot in the North End. This photo is of me baptising him... I am a religion.

... Sonya's online as well. Hi Sonya!

What am I doing still awake at this hour? Well, my mind is just racing, and I have that nervous feeling in my chest. You know, it comes in waves, and makes you feel kinda hot? Anyway, I'm just thinking of a lot stuff that has happened in the last week or so, and what may happen in the future. Like I said before, I'm going to Italy on Saturday, so I'm anxious about that. Then there's moving next year: will we find an apartment? Will Patty still want to live with me? Will I afford it? Then my mind goes to the romantic/horny side...nuf said. And to top it all off, I'm sleeping in my younger brother's room, on a twin size bed! This is the recipe for insomnia.

Oh! So I went to dinner tonight with Mom and brother, and the topic of sex came up, and was of course brought up by Mom. Now, most of you probably cringe at the thought of discussing sex with your parents, but for some reason, talking about it with Karen is just so amusing. Mostly because she gets a kick out of all the terminology, which I generally leave up to my brother. Par example, my brother spouted out the term blumpkin. I had no idea what it meant. Apparently, a blumpkin, is the act of jerking a guy off while he poops. Great, thanks Matt. Anyway, my mom started cracking up. Then they both proceeded to make fun of me for not knowing a Soulja Boy song. Whatever, I got a little drunk off a glass of cabernet and a coffee with Bailey's and Frangelico, sooooooooo... jokes on them.

Ben just described me as a pomegranate. Stating that I am sweet like most fruits, but I have many rare and uncommon traits. And I mix well with energy drinks.

I think I'll try to sleep now.

So long...

Ain't Gonna Get Grey Over It

2008-05-14T16:39:00.000-04:00

So this is Stella. Stella is my step-father's mother, and she came to live with us 7 or 8 years ago. Stella is 85 years old. I have seen pictures of her when she was younger, and amazingly, she has always looked old. I think she may have been born old, and that's why she's managed to live so long. Anyway, I'm back home, and it was just Stella and I in the house today, so we went out into the sunroom and chatted. She can't remember much, but what she can remember she tells you at least 5 times in a row. She told me about how she welded ships in the Boston shipyard during the World War... the second one, and how she and her younger sister Georgia are the only 2 surviving siblings from her family, and how she, Stella, is the oldest and Georgia is the youngest. I heard these tales about 5 times. It was as if her mind was set to repeat, or maybe she felt that if she didn't hear herself tell these stories about her life, maybe they'd be erased from her memory. Now, 4 years ago, when I was still living here, this would've driven me insane, but now, I just sat and listened to her recall the past. It was nice actually. I mean, eventually I cut her off, and went to do laundry, but she still has things to talk about, even if they may be the same 5 stories over and over and over and over... and over. She drives my mother up a wall. Don't ever move in with your in-laws. AAAHHAHAHAHA, she just knocked on my door to tell me she's going for a walk. That's another thing! She walks when it's nice out, and she frigon moves, like she practically jogs.

It's also nice being home because I get to see my grandparents. I grew up living next door to them, so they were a huge part of my childhood, and lately I find myself talking about them a lot. We call them Nana and Papa... my whole family. So if Patty and I move to Central Square with all the youngins, we're gonna be, Nana and Papa. If that happens, I want a recliner. And I want Patty to make dinner for me each night. And like my grandparents, we won't have sex.

One bad thing about being home...pollen! My nostrils are engorged with something, and I can't breathe. Whatever, I'm going to Italy on Saturday! ! !

so-yeah...

The Adventures of Patwicia and Nickowis

2008-05-09T13:08:00.000-04:00

So I am trying to live with Patwicia Mahgwet Bawett, formally known as Patty Barrett, next year. We finally looked at apartments the other day, really liked one, and it was taken that same day, by someone else, who was probably less appreciative of its charm. Just goes to show how cut-throat searching for an apartment can be. Also, since I last looked at apartments, $1600.00 doesn't really get you a lot of options these days. Our realtor only had 2 units to show that were in our price range.

That realtor, however, was rather attractive! Blond, blue-eyed, angular, HARVARD boy. I would say, not really my type, but I don't really have a type yet... I don't think. Patty was such a goon! We walk into the office, and there was Adam The Realtor, and he walks to the back of the office to get keys, I look at Patty, and she has this MASSIVE grin on her widdle face. It was cute, but embarrassing. So I hit her. Hard. In the face.

Anyway, he was attractive, very articulate, I mean hello! HARVARD! You can't be anything but. I think he thought I was at Suffolk for law, because he started talking to me with law jargon and I didn't get it, but I went along with it cuz he was pretty (read pretty with a high pitched squeal). So after we parted ways with my future sugar daddy, I needed a plan on how to ask him out. My plan backfired, and I probably would have chickened out anyway. Plus he was too ambiguous for me to ask him out with extreme confidence. In the end, the apartment we liked was taken, and I didn't get the nerve to ask him out. So it was lose-lose. BUT, it was yet another fun and pleasant adventure for Nick and Patty.

Take Care!

Really?

2008-05-07T17:40:00.000-04:00

Is it just me, or is imitating the Nazi march in public just never comical? As I strolled down Hanover Street on this warm, beautiful, May day, I passed by a group of young wipper snappers, all with haircuts similar to this:

As I passed, one decided to extend his right arm and march in a Nazi fashion. Now, I'm not Jewish, nor do I have any ties to the Holocaust, however, I just find that gesture to be unseemly, especially when made in jest on a very public street. Not that condone doing it seriously in public, or at all for that matter.

In other news, I was approved for my travel visa this morning for my trip to Italy! I was wildly nervous because:
A. The study abroad woman didn't like to answer all of my questions
B. I didn't really have all of the proper documentation
C. The 2 students ahead of me were both rejected

Of course when the Italian visa man saw that I was applying for just a 2 week stay, he chuckled a bit, and then was lenient with my mistakes. So, I was approved, I pick up the visa Friday morning! I leave on the 17th, and I cannot be more excited. Patty and I were looking at travel books the other day at Borders, and she mentioned this in her blog, but it bares repeating: I saw in one book that the legal age of consent is 16, and that made me laugh and I made an inappropriate joke about nailin' 16 year old I-talian.

I also don't know anything about where we're staying, or what shuttle I'm taking to the campus in Florence when I arrive in Rome, so basically my plan is to get to the Rome airport and just shout SUFFOLK SUFFOLK SUFFOLK SUFFOLK really really loudly until finally someone says, "yes, ok, come with me."

Oh, and I apologized for picking on my dad this afternoon.

Ciao!

Le Divorce

2008-04-13T13:13:00.000-04:00

So my parents are divorced. The demise of their marriage occurred about 13 years ago, so in one year they will have been divorced as long as they were married, which was 14 years. Maybe I'll throw them some kind of anniversary party... or not. Anyway, it's all over and done with and they have both moved on... or so I thought.

Every few years a phone call is made, obscenities are screamed, and a court date is set. Why? To discuss child support. My brother and I are older now, 18 and 21, so child-support may sound to you, like a an odd concept. HOWEVER, now that I live in my own apartment, and NOT in my mother's house, it was arranged that the child-support my dad pays, would go directly to me in order to pay for most of my rent. Sweet deal, right? Well, it has it's ups and downs.

For one thing, I usually can't have a conversation with my dad without him referencing the fact that a large portion of his paycheck goes to me. It was funny for a while, but after a year it made me uncomfortable. So I confronted him about it, and put an end to the awkward joke.

Most recently, my dad came into the city to visit me. He brought me a new pair of snazzy Armani glasses, and took me to dinner. In return, I took him to a show at Improv Asylum, which he LOVED ! We had the great fortune of pleasant, warm, spring weather, so we took a walk around the water-front. As we walked, my dad asked me, "So did your mother call you?" To which I responded, "UM...yeah, wasn't gonna bring that up, but ok". Yada yada yada, we need a new arrangement.

Aside from the divorce hodge podge that goes on between my parents, I love them unconditionally. I am beyond fortunate to have them in my life. They do nothing but support my brother and I, and want nothing but the best for us. At one point during the show at Improv Asylum, I turned to look at my dad, and his eyes were sort of teary. During intermission we went outside, and he said how he can absolutely see me doing what they do some day, and how proud he is of me. Then I got teary eyed, but like 2 "men" the teariness went undiscussed. Not that my dad is a macho man, he's maybe the biggest sack of emotions I know. Mr. Sensitive. My mom visits a lot more often than my dad, and I've had great moments with her too, but they happened too long ago to blog about! So yeah... my parents are great.

I hope you have the fortune of at least moderately tolerable parents, and if you don't, maybe try to see some good in them, or at least look at their many faults and use that as a way to format your personality and life. Just be aware, no matter how hard you try, you WILL, in some fashion, no matter how subtle, end up... like your folks!

Oh, and I saw boobs at Suffolk's production of Hair.

From Point A to Plan B

2008-04-08T18:17:00.000-04:00

The all powerful and creative minds in Seriously Bent are currently preparing for their series of final shows for the 07-08 season. These shows will be in a 2-act revue format. What the F does that mean??? Well I'll tell you. It's a show in 2 acts, which means there will be a 1st act, an intermission, and then a 2nd act. The show will also feature written sketches as well as improvised monologues, scenes, and hodge podge.

For the first time, our show will have a theme strung throughtout the performance. The show is based on embarassing, comedic, mortification. When I was asked, today, what our theme was, Nick Wilson decided to answer for me because he loves to say big words.

The process to create a show like this is very intense. Normally, we don't have to worry abour lighting and stage direction, but certain sketches and structures are ELABORATE ! I'm personally very excited for this show since one of my sketches is a front runner for being cast.

Here's a little schedule for the shows:

DATES: Friday, April 18 (6* & 8 PM)
Saturday, April 19 (6 & 8 PM)
TENTATIVE: Friday, April 25 (MIDNIGHT at Improv Asylum)
The 6PM show FRIDAY night will NOT include our sketches. It will
strictly be an improvised show.

LOCATION: Studio Theatre; 4th Floor Donahue
This is a very small space so be sure to either reserve your
ticket early, OR get there early ! ! !

COST: FREEEEEEEEEE

This will be one of the best shows we have EVER done, so if you love Seriously Bent, or you've never seen us before, THIS is the show to see.

blah blah blah

2008-03-22T22:54:00.000-04:00

Wow! So yeah, it has been a while since I posted. I guess I need new episodes of Sex and the City to come On Demand to give me some motivation. Or perhaps I just need to do more things worth talking about online. Oh wait, I HAVE! So, I am about to wrap up my Junior year Spring Break, and it began with quite a bang. I went to New York City with my dear friend Patty, who of course NEVER writes about me in her blog, no matter how adorable and interesting I am. So here, is how that adventure went:

Luckeist Star Bus:

We travelled down together on a Lucky Star bus, and boy, did I feel like the luckiest star in the sky. We carried on witty and amusing banter. Stopped for lunch, I wanted to cross the street to McDonald's however the driver would not allow it. I don't know if that's legal, but I just shrugged my nose, and proceeded into the Burger King. I hate eating on buses. There's no tray table, you have to eat on your lap, and where do you put your drink?? ON THE FLOOR! That's where! So with a tummy full of processed, deep fried chicken, and a strawberry milkshake, we then proceeded to bust out some sketches.

Arrival in New York City:

Now I hadn't been to the city since high school, and of course when with a large immature group, you're herded around, and don't really need to worry about how to get where. Of course, this was different. Luckily, I had Patty, who eventually got her bearings, and got us from downtown, to midtown. We checked into the hotel that Patty's dad paid for, and then met up with my old friend Glenn. See Glenn:

Glenn's great. We're bffs... gross. Sorry. No, but really, we grew up together, and have remained close friends. Hopefully, someday, he will be my Max Weinberg on my late night talk show. He plays piano though, so I guess he'd be more of a Paul Schaffer. Regardless, he's talented, and a goofball, and we have great chemistry and banter, so he's perfect. Maybe I'd let him hire his douche-twat brother to play sax.

Ok, so that's Glenn. More with him later.

We met up with Glenn, and then we headed over to Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre, where we saw a show called ASSCAT. We were wildly lucky, because that night's cast of players included Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Seth Meyers (who had great jeans on, really nice ass), and Jack MacBrayer (30 Rock). Do I get star-struck??... You bet your ASS I do! I was so giddy, it was really exciting. After the show we went to Glenn's favorite watering hole, The Corner Bistro, with his buddy from The New School and The Brubeck Institute. We proceeded to get moderately intoxicated, and Patty and I just talked about ourselves pretty much the whole time. Oh! Patty also decided to text Jeremy and tell him how I felt like he didn't really like me, and that I never make him laugh. And when we sent him simultaneous text messages, I discovered that she told him that. Who does that?! So then he sort of mocked me and my insecurities.

Blah blah blah, this is a long post. I hope you stopped reading by now, and if you haven't you probably really really want to. So I'll stop here, and continue the saga of Spring Break in a later blog.

And I PROMISE to post more often!... because I know SO many people are reading this...

so-yeah...

I Am

2008-03-02T14:03:00.000-05:00

Please see the following:

I first heard about this a week ago in a very passive manner. After finally seeing this video today, I read the articles. I cried for 30 minutes. This is tragic, and must stop, however, we as a society, I feel, are very far from the ability to treat each other with the respect and decency that EVERY human citizen deserves.

Please, whether you know someone that is gay or not, speak out against stupid and ignorant comments and jokes. Learn about the Human Rights Campaign, and understand why it's called HUMAN, and not specifically gay rights.

The Tale of Two Emotions

2008-02-25T22:35:00.000-05:00

So I was walking down Clarendon Street on Sunday morning on my way to work, when a care free man, with a whistle on his lips looked at me and said, "Looking very sharp today young man". I responded with a flattered, "thank you!" I only thought that things like that happened to Christina... cuz she's kind of pretty-ish. So for someone to just compliment me on my appearance completely shocked me, in a good way.

Then, 10 seconds later, with an uncontrolled grin on my face, an old woman, her face wrapped with a scarf, extended her hands towards me begging for change. I went from sublimely flattered to pitifully disheartened in a just a couple of eye lid blinks.

When I arrived at work, I told my manager the story, and he just didn't seem to care. I think you had to experience this drastic shift in emotion to understand it. I was so excited to be endowed with the same spring in my step as the man that complimented me, but then reality was spit right back into my face. It was as if I wasn't allowed to experience joy for myself for any longer than 10 seconds. I dress well. I eat well. I sleep on a pillow top mattress. And other people are suffering, and I am never allowed to forget that.

A Happy Bubble

2008-02-21T00:04:00.000-05:00

I have slipped inside a happy little bubble*. January was, by far, the most difficult month of my life, I'll explain that later, when I can comprehend. February turned one of the biggest frowns of my life, back into a grin... for now. For starters, I discovered a 2 week photojournalism course in the Tuscany region of Italy! I have applied, well Patty physically handed in my application while looking like a woman of the night, and I am waiting to find out if I actually get to go. Maybe I should try this as a list!?

2 week photojournalism course in Tuscany
intensified relationships with 2 new friends of 07-08 academic year
a new love and appreciation for cupcakes
stronger appreciation for the people in my life that genuinely love me
greater understanding regarding the healing power of laughter

In regards to the preceding list. Item #2 deals with the strong connections that have formed between these 2 people:

Who they?! The gentleman with the straw stuck on his tooth, is Alex. The female, caught in a candid moment of genuine laughter, is Patty. They're both looking to their right, just noticed that.

(read the following sentence to the tune of Amy Crackhouse's "Rehab"):

I tried to take Alex on dates, but he said nooooo nooo no... clever? ok, so, instead of romance blossoming, a friendship that I truly cherish sprouted. Alex is innocent, charming, uninhibited, and hilarious without intention. Also a very good singer, which I found out a few hours ago. I only hope that our relationship will continue to grow, like the bean we all grew when we were 8... right? I always end up in a better mood when I'm with him, and those are the friends I appreciate, so yeah. I actually went to a new cupcake joint with Alex tonight, and the most exciting thing of the bakery was that they sold milk in old timey glass bottles. I bought one, with no intention of bringing the bottle back to receive my $.90 deposit. I will recycle the bottle by using it as a vase for my favorite flower, daisies. Did I mention I was gay? Ok great

Patty, is great. I should call her. Patty is a brilliant comedienne, writer, and overall human, and despite her sometimes intimidating wit, is very shy around people she doesn't know. shocking. Seriously, people love her. Especially this guy (I'm pointing both of my thumbs at myself) There is a very positive chance that we will be sharing an apartment next year, and I cannot tell you the excitement I feel when I think of that. Like the excitement is borderline obscene, sort of like our relationship. Patty and I like to improvise everywhere. Restaurants, walking down the street, in public bathrooms, in bars, and hopefully, in a couple weeks, in Times Square. She gave me one of the kindest compliments, "I just feel like I can tell you anything, and you won't judge me". This melted me a little. She also told me she would still dry hump me if I ever got fat. Patty and I can say pretty much anything to each other without fear of judgment. More with Patty later.

*So in further regards to this bubble. While I'm very happy right now, the bubble is sure to burst at some point. When that happens, I'll deal with it then.

(May I also point out that this blog is in no way an attempt at being pretentious. I hope to polish and hone my writing skills. Maybe delve into some more insightful concepts from inside my mind grapes. But for now, enjoy this fluff of me recapping my days!)

What else happened to me today?...

... I watched a full episode of American Idol for the first time since season 1

so-yeah...

So IT Begins

2008-02-19T23:18:00.000-05:00

I used to keep a journal, but upon making an attempt at reading my old thoughts, I had difficulty figuring out my hand writing. So, I'll type a journal, and publish it online for anyone to read.

My name's Nick. That's me on the left.

... I'm older now

The title of my blog describes me... ish. I am, below the average male height. No, I am not a "little person", which in my opinion is a more degrading term than "midget", I am just a little vertically challenged. I'm 5'3". What I lack in feet, I make up for in inches... HAH!... am I right?!... anyway.

I believe that the first thing people notice about me is my small stature. The next trait noticed, hopefully, is my sense of humor. I believe that my sense of humor was God's way of saying, "Hey, listen, sorry you won't ever meet eyes with someone from across a crowded room, maybe you can charm people by making a clever poop joke." Thanks big guy.

So I improvise! I've brought my humor to a stage in the last 2 years as a member of Seriously Bent, an improvisational theatre troupe. Yes, I have been recognized on the train. Do you know what an uncontrollable grin feels like? Well, that's what happens when you're recognized, uncontrollable satisfaction. Anyway, I have never felt more comfortable and connected to a group of people than when I became a member of SB. We have an unspoken bond, and although I've only known these people for a year or 2, it's as if I've known them my entire life. In FACT, I told them I liked boys and not girls before my friends from home... friends that I learned how to read with. I love my friends from home, but it's just easier to start a new chapter in life with new people. I digress... SB, under the direction of Improv Asylum, creates theatre immediately. What? We create scenes based on a single suggestion from an audience, and innately they garner laughter... is garner the right word? It's my blog, so yes. We have performed in comedy festivals (local and national), competitions (victorious and not so much), and in bars with Chinese lanterns.

We're great, come see us sometime

I use humor for more than entertainment, however. Humor has become my medium for genuine connections with people. I find that what makes people laugh, not fake laugh, to be incredibly insightful. Do I have to really work to be clever and witty just to get a grin? or can I just say an ordinary sentence with a goofy expression and an odd voice to get a 5 minute barrel of laughter? both can be brilliant and rewarding. Even in the darkest and disparaging of times, I can pull a smile through a sob. Am I bragging? You bet. I'm very proud and honored to have this ability, because I consciously use it to help people feel better, to forget about the sometimes harsh realities.

so-yeah...